Self-compassion is critical to learning how to take better care of ourselves. Dr. Kristin Neff is one of the world’s leading experts in self-compassion. She describes self-compassion as “treating yourself the way you want to treat a friend who is having a hard time.” “We give ourselves support and encouragement rather than being cold and judgmental when challenges and difficulty arise in our lives.” Research indicates that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of resilience and coping we have available to us. It can radically improve our mental wellness and physical well-being. Research demonstrates the following benefits of practicing self-compassion.

1. Self-Compassion Leads to Increased Productivity.

   When a person is motivated by self-compassion, failure becomes an opportunity to learn. As a result, after a failure, you will be more likely to improve your performance. You are better able to remain calm, experience higher well-being and be more productive and successful. Self-compassion can help you embrace learning and growth, and pursue your goals with curiosity and enthusiasm.

2. Self-Compassion Helps to Decrease Levels of Stress.

   Self-compassion helps to increase healthy self-talk which reduces negative self-talk. Self-compassion tends to have positive effects on the brain and body. It helps to send messages to the amygdala that there are no perceived threats, which will decrease your stress hormones and release muscle tension. Furthermore, self-compassion reduces the stress that comes with criticism, failure, and procrastination.

3. Self-Compassion Helps Reduce Anxiety.

   A person with self-compassion acknowledges their anxiety and offers himself or herself kindness and understanding. Rather than judging yourself harshly for your mistakes or perceived shortcomings, you can understand that pain is part of the human experience and that you’re not alone. A person who struggles with anxiety and practices self-compassion can learn how to self-soothe and how to be more compassionate. The person can eventually start approaching anxiety-provoking situations rather than avoiding which reduces anxiety over time.

4. Self-Compassion Helps Increase Resilience.

   Research shows that a person with more compassion has more resilience which helps you to bounce back from challenges, function better in life, and adaptively cope with stressful life events, such as divorce or serious illness. In addition, self-compassion helps create an attitude that gives you a feeling of basic self-worth which tends to make you more resilient to whatever challenge you may face.

5. Self-Compassion Helps to Increase Positive Emotions.

   Self-compassion has been found to foster positive emotions, especially warm, soothing, and safe feelings. Using techniques of self-compassion can allow you to become more mindful of yourself and your decision-making, resulting in more positive and balanced interactions with others. Pursuing greater happiness through the practice of self-compassion is a gift to yourself and to those around you. Furthermore, you may begin experiencing happiness as you seek out new, healthy ways of living and relating to yourself.

Now that you understand the benefits of practicing self-compassion, here are some examples of how you can practice self-compassion on a regular basis.

1. What would you tell a friend? 

   You can often extend kind words, hope, and encouragement to friends. When going through a difficult time, take a moment to consider how you might respond to a close friend if they were going through a similar situation. Learn and practice how to talk to yourself as if you were talking to a friend.

2. Write in a journal. 

   Take time each day to write out some challenges you are experiencing. Take notice of moments as your mind tends to wander into critical statements or you begin to feel alone in your experiences. Intentionally reframe any critical statements with a softer, more understanding tone to see how it might feel better.

3. Practice forgiveness.

   Remember, you are a human and are prone to make mistakes. Rather than berate yourself, learn to practice forgiveness. No one is perfect and free of flaws. Be gentle with yourself when confronting self-critical thoughts.

4. Practice mindfulness.

   Be aware of your breathing. As you’re walking, notice your feet taking one step at a time. Be mentally and physically in the moment, here and now.

In conclusion, the research clearly indicates that self-compassion is very beneficial to our well-being. May you be open to giving yourself permission to try healthier ways of dealing with yourself and be open to practicing self-compassion on a daily basis.

For more information about self-compassion, please call me at 858-243-2684.