How to Create Healthy Boundaries

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Creating healthy boundaries is essential in establishing and maintaining a healthy relationship. Boundaries are basic guidelines of how you want to be treated respectfully. Setting boundaries allows you to let another person know what is acceptable and unacceptable. It is important to establish healthy emotional, physical, and psychological boundaries in relationships so we can feel respected and safe.

Why is it important to set healthy boundaries?

  1. To set healthy limits in a relationship.

  2. To communicate your needs in a relationship.

  3. To practice self-care and self-respect.

  4. To make time and create a space for positive interactions.

What are some examples of healthy boundaries?

  1. Accepting when someone says no.

  2. Being aware of your own wants and needs and being able to communicate them.

  3. Able to share personal information in an appropriate manner.

  4. The ability not to compromise values for another person.

  5. You value your own thoughts and opinions.

One way to maintain your healthy boundaries is to identify your limits in a relationship. Recognize acceptable ways of behaving in a relationship. For example, if you tell the other person you are busy and that person continues to call or text you. A person that does not respect no for an answer is violating your boundaries. A second way to maintain healthy boundaries is to be firm about your boundaries and have a plan for what happens if the boundary is violated. Set a reasonable and firm consequence with this person if they have disrespected your boundary.

Some suggestions for setting healthy boundaries:

  1. Set a boundary in a clear, firm, calm, and respectful manner. Use as few words as possible. There is no need to justify or apologize for setting the boundary.

  2. You are only responsible for expressing your boundary in a respectful manner. Remember you are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to your boundary.

  3. Remind yourself that setting boundaries is a form of self-care and it takes determination and practice.

  4. Develop a support system of people you trust and who respect your right to set boundaries.

Creating healthy boundaries is empowering. By recognizing the need to set and enforce limits, you maintain self-respect, protect your self-concept, and can enjoy healthy relationships.

If you are needing help in dealing with your relationships, please consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.