7 Tips to Better Manage Stress

Our daily lives have become more fast paced at work and home. As a result, stress has become a common day occurrence. In psychology, stress is a feeling of emotional pressure and strain. Many people are constantly inundated with technology that can easily distract us from our self-care. Thus, life can feel overwhelming and stressful at times. Consequently, it’s important to learn how to better manage your stress.

Before we discuss, how to manage stress, lets learn how to identify your stress. Symptoms of stress can take various forms. Stress may cause physical complaints, such as tightness in your shoulders, tension headaches, indigestion or even back pain. Stress can appear as cognitive problems like indecisiveness or poor concentration. Emotional symptoms of stress can include irritability, crying, or edginess. Once you can identify your stress, make a priority to learn healthy ways of managing your stress.

7 Tips to Better Manage Stress:

1. Make time for daily self-care.

   *Make a priority to go to bed around the same time and wake up at the same time. Ideally teens need 8 to 10 hours of sleep and adults 7 to 9 hours of sleep.

   *Be sure to eat healthy well balanced meals and don’t allow yourself to skip a meal. Drink plenty of water. Teens are recommended to drink 6 - 8 cups of water and adults should drink 8 - 10 cups of water.

   *Pay attention to your self-talk. Talk to yourself in a kind and patient manner. Pretend you’re talking to your best friend and say that to yourself.

2. Practice daily relaxation techniques.

   These are activities that trigger the relaxation response, a physiological change that can help lower your blood pressure, breathing rate, heart rate, stress hormones and oxygen consumption. You can achieve this with activities such as meditation, guided imagery, yoga, and deep breathing exercises.

   *On the hour, spend a few minutes inhaling for a count of 5 and exhaling for a count of 5. It helps to bring you to the present moment.

   *Make time at least for 5 minutes to listen to a daily guided meditation. Find a guided meditation on an app or on YouTube that you find calming and relaxing.

   *Make time to do yoga at least 3 times per week. Use your favorite app or find a yoga instructor on YouTube. Yoga is a great exercise to focus on our body rather than our busy mind.

3. Make time to exercise as often as possible.

   *Physical activity can pump up your feel-good endorphins and other natural neural chemicals that boost your sense of well-being. Exercise is very helpful in refocusing your mind on your body's movements. This refocus can improve your mood and help you feel better. Allow yourself to try various forms of exercise, like going for a long walk, biking, working in the garden, going for a run, weight training, or working in your garden. Give yourself permission to make time for daily movement, if at all possible.

4. Connect with others.

   Social contact is a good stress reliever because your family and or friends can provide you support, it can offer a healthy distraction, and it helps you navigate the ups and downs of life.

   When you're stressed and irritable, you may want to isolate yourself. Instead, make it a point to reach out to family and friends and make social connections. Open up with your friend or family and express what’s bothering you. Even one good person who listens can make a difference in reducing some of your stress.

5. Practice being assertive.

   Assertiveness is a communication skill that allows you to express your needs, thoughts and emotions in a balanced and respectful manner, without violating the right of others. It can help you set limits and boundaries with others. Furthermore, being assertive can help you to express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view.

6. Managing your social media time.

   Setting limits on how much time you spend on social media can help decrease the urge to constantly check for updates. It can help reduce your stress by limiting the exposure to potentially overwhelming content. It can also help prevent feelings of comparisons to others’ curated online lives. As a result, managing your time on social media can lead to a more relaxed and present state of mind.

7. Daily journaling.

   Give yourself permission to journal every day in the morning or afternoon. Journaling can help your understand your stressors, fears and concerns. Journaling can help you track any symptoms so that you can potentially recognize your triggers. Journaling can help you be honest about what your feeling and what you need. Furthermore, journaling can help you identify your negative thoughts and learn how to focus on healthy balanced self talk.

   I hope you make it a priority to practice better ways of managing your stress. It will benefit you emotionally, socially and psychologically. Learning to make time to take care of yourself is necessary for our well being.

   If you’re looking for support to better manage your stress , please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

6 Mental Health Benefits of Exercise

Most of us know the many physical benefits of exercise like increased energy, weight control, lower blood pressure, and reduced risk of diabetes. But what about the psychological benefits of exercise? Did you know that exercise can help lessen symptoms of depression and anxiety and keep your memory sharp? Let’s explore six mental health benefits of exercise.

6 Mental Health Benefits of Exercise

1. Exercise and Depression

   Studies show that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication but without any side effects. For example, a study by Harvard’s School of Public Health found that walking for an hour or running for 15 minutes a day reduces the risk of major depression by 26%. In addition to relieving symptoms of depression, research also shows that maintaining an exercise schedule can prevent you from relapsing. Some researchers suspect exercise alleviates chronic depression by increasing serotonin, the neurotransmitter targeted by antidepressants. Furthermore, exercise promotes all kinds of changes in the brain, like reduced inflammation, neural growth, and new activity patterns that promote feelings of well-being and calm. Additionally, exercise helps with good blood flow, improves circulation, and stimulates the growth of new blood vessels in the brain. In addition, physical exercise releases endorphins, powerful chemicals in your brain that energize your spirits and make you feel good. Finally, exercise can also serve as a distraction, since it provides some quiet time to break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that feed depression.

2. Exercise and Anxiety

   Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment. It relieves stress and tension, boosts mental and physical energy, and enhances well-being by releasing endorphins, peptides produced in the brain that block the perception of pain and increase feelings of well-being. Furthermore, moving your body decreases muscle tension, lowering the body’s contribution to feeling anxious. In addition, exercise activates frontal regions of the brain that are responsible for executive function, and therefore helps control the amygdala, our reacting system to real or imagined threats to our survival.

   One possibility is that exercise buffs up the brain and the body. Physical exercise triggers the release of a protein known as brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). BDNF encourages the growth of new brain cells, possibly, in the hippocampus, a brain region important in learning and memory. Since the hippocampus tends to be smaller or distorted in people with anxiety and depression, boosting BDNF through exercise might be a way physical activity might help manage these conditions.

3. Decreased Stress
   Another mental benefit of exercise is reduced stress levels, something that can make everyone happier. Increasing your heart rate can reverse stress-induced brain damage by stimulating the production of neurohormones like norepinephrine, which improves cognition and mood and clouded thinking by stressful events. In addition, exercise forces the body’s central and sympathetic nervous systems to communicate with one another, improving the body’s overall ability to respond to stress.

   Think about how your body feels when you're stressed. Your muscles may be tense, especially in your neck and shoulders, leaving you with back or neck pain, or painful headaches. You may feel a tightness in your chest, a pounding pulse, or muscle cramps. You might also experience problems such as stomachache, insomnia, heartburn, diarrhea, or frequent urination. The worry and discomfort of all these physical symptoms can lead to even more stress, creating a vicious cycle between your mind and body.

   Exercising is an effective way to break this cycle. As well as releasing endorphins in the brain, physical activity helps to relax the muscles and relieve tension in the body. Since the body and mind are so closely linked, when your body feels better so will your mind.

4. Increased Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence
   From improving endurance to losing weight and increasing muscle tone, there’s no shortage of physical achievements due to regular exercise. All those achievements can add up to boosting your self-esteem, as well as the confidence that comes with it. You may not set out for a slimmer physique or the ability to climb a hill without getting winded. Oftentimes it happens before you even realize it. It’s just one of the many benefits of physical activity that boost your body, mind, and spirit.

   Regular exercise is an investment in your mind, body, and soul. When exercise becomes a habit, it can foster your sense of self-worth and make you feel strong and powerful. You’ll feel better about your appearance and, by meeting even small exercise goals, you’ll feel a sense of achievement.

   Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves and how we perceive our self-worth. It is a key indicator of our mental well-being and our ability to cope with life stressors. Physical activity has been shown to influence our self-worth and self-esteem positively. This relationship has been found in children, adolescents, young adults, adults, and older people, and among both males and females.

5. Better sleep
   Studies have found that proper exercise can alleviate sleep-related problems and help you get an adequate amount of rest. If you have trouble getting a good night’s sleep, exercise can help with that, too. Physical activity increases body temperature, which can have calming effects on the mind. Exercise also helps regulate your circadian rhythm, our body’s built-in alarm clock that controls when we feel tired and when we feel alert. Please note that sleep experts recommend not exercising close to bedtime.

   Moderate aerobic exercise increases the amount of slow-wave sleep you get. Slow-wave sleep refers to deep sleep, where the brain and body have a chance to rejuvenate. In addition, moderate to vigorous exercise can increase sleep quality for adults by reducing sleep onset, and the time it takes to fall asleep, and decreasing the amount of time they lie awake in bed during the night. Additionally, physical activity can help alleviate daytime sleepiness. Exercise can also help to stabilize your mood and decompress the mind.

6. Brain Boost
   From building intelligence to strengthening memory, exercise boosts brainpower in many ways. Studies on mice and humans indicate that cardiovascular exercise creates new brain cells, a process called neurogenesis, and improves overall brain performance. Exercise also prevents cognitive decline and memory loss by strengthening the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for memory and learning. In addition, studies prove that physical activity boosts creativity and mental energy. So if you need inspiration, your big idea could be just a walk or jog away.

   Exercise offers short-term boosts in cognition. Studies show that immediately after a bout of physical activity, people perform better on tests of executive functions and working memory. This might be in part because movement increases the release of neurotransmitters in the brain, most notably epinephrine and norepinephrine.

   The brain benefits start to emerge, though, when people work out consistently over time. Studies show that people who work out several times a week have on average higher cognitive test scores, than people who are more sedentary. Other research has found that a person’s cognition tends to improve after participating in a new aerobic exercise program for several months.

   Overall, there are many important mental health benefits of exercise. I hope you learned something new in this blog that helps motivate you to make time for exercise and wellness. Permit yourself to prioritize time to exercise. Learn to focus on your schedule and be sure to make time for wellness. You can walk during your lunch break, find some YouTube exercise videos that you’ll do after work or classes, go biking or hiking on the weekends, or join a gym. As exercise becomes a habit in your life, you’ll reap the benefits of exercise.

   If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

How to Identify and Challenge Distorted Thinking

Cognitive therapy helps a person learn how to identify distorted thinking in order to change the way you think and feel. These thoughts are automatic and simply pop into our minds automatically. As a result, people tend to respond automatically to these distorted thoughts without pausing to notice whether or not the thoughts are accurate or realistic. Everyone has a flow of positive, neutral, and negative automatic thoughts throughout the day. Unfortunately, negative automatic thoughts tend to lead to irrational thoughts. From a psychological perspective, irrational thoughts:

• are not based on evidence

• mostly operate on assumptions

• are rooted in beliefs based on past experiences either positive or negative

We all have irrational thoughts. Some people will be able to recognize irrational thoughts. Other people may struggle to let go of the irrational thought and give the thought too much time and attention. Thus, irrational thoughts can cause functional impairment in behavior which can negatively impact day-to-day life.

When irrational thinking becomes a pattern, it creates a cognitive distortion. This is an error in thinking or logic that affects the way your mind processes information. Cognitive distortions refer to your mind making judgments and inferences about a situation that are not based entirely on logic or evidence. This is usually the result of past experiences. Cognitive distortions can shape your beliefs, mood, and how you view yourself, others, and the world in general.

The 10 most common cognitive distortions: (adapted from “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy”)

1. All-or-nothing thinking: You look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories.

2. Overgeneralization: You view a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

3. Mental filter: You dwell on the negatives.

4. Discounting the positives: You insist that your accomplishments or positive qualities don’t count.

5. Jumping to conclusions: a) Mind-reading: You assume that people are reacting negatively to you when there’s no definite evidence; b) Fortune-telling: You arbitrarily predict that things will turn out badly.

6. Magnification or minimization: You blow things way out of proportion or you shrink their importance.

7. Emotional reasoning: You reason from how you feel: “I feel like an idiot, so I really must be one.”

8. “Should statements”: You criticize yourself (or other people) with “shoulds,” “oughts,” “musts” and “have tos.”

9. Labeling: When you label yourself or others. Instead of saying “I made a mistake,” you tell yourself, “I’m a jerk,” or “a fool,” or “a loser.”

10. Personalization and blame: You blame yourself for something you weren’t entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and deny your role in the problem.

How to challenge distorted thoughts:

1. Journal. When you notice a change in mood, journal about what you’re thinking and feeling. Pay particular attention to what you're telling yourself. When you’ve calmed down, review the list of distortions and determine which one fueled your intense emotion. Be curious about what thought triggered you and make note of it. Curiosity will create an opportunity for increasing self-awareness and allow you to grow and learn about what you can do differently next time.

2. Complete a thought record. A thought record is a core tool in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). This is a one-page worksheet that you use in a difficult situation to help you notice your unhelpful ways of thinking and change your perspective to something more realistic. It focuses on the interactions between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and how to focus on factual evidence in order to think more reasonably and rationally.

3. Practice mindfulness which is the ability to focus on the present moment. It’s incredibly helpful to practice diaphragmatic breathing which allows you to focus on each inhalation and exhalation which brings you to the present moment. Practice noticing the thoughts and letting them go. Learn to recognize that you are not your thoughts.

4. Practice self-compassion. Learn how to talk to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend. Practice being kind and patient with yourself. Acknowledge the pain you feel and learn to sit with the emotion and let it go.

5. Consider working with a psychologist who is trained in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). The therapist can provide you resources and support, teach you how to challenge your distorted thoughts, reduce anxiety and depression, and improve your mood.

Distorted thinking negatively impacts how a person, thinks about oneself, others, and the world. Be patient with yourself as you increase your awareness of your unhelpful ways of thinking. Learn to make your mental health a daily priority and learn and practice CBT coping strategies that can help reduce your irrational and distorted thoughts. Consider seeking additional support by working with a therapist who is trained in CBT.

If you’re needing help in dealing with your unhelpful thinking patterns, consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.

The Power of Deep Breathing

According to the Stress in America 2020 survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA), Americans have been profoundly affected by the COVID-19 pandemic, and the multitude of factors Americans have listed in previous years as significant sources of stress remain present and problematic. Given the intensity and duration of these ongoing stressors especially the persistence of this pandemic, APA has issued a warning: We are facing a national mental health crisis that could yield serious health and social consequences for years to come.

Given the endless stressors in our lives especially in the middle of a pandemic, I want to suggest that we make deep breathing a daily practice. Deep breathing also known as diaphragmatic breathing is a practice that enables more air to flow in our body. With practice, deep breathing can help to calm our nerves which helps to reduce anxiety and stress. Most of us take breathing for granted since we typically don’t pay attention to our breathing. Learning to pay attention to how we’re breathing can make a positive impact on our stress levels.

Your autonomic nervous system, which controls involuntary actions like heart rate and digestion, is split into two parts. One part, the sympathetic nervous system (the red zone) controls your fight-or-flight response. The other part, the parasympathetic nervous system (the green zone) controls your rest and digest response. These two parts of your nervous system can’t be turned on at the same time, which means if you work to activate one, the other will be suppressed. As a result, when you pay attention to your breathing you realize that you can control your breathing and with practice, you can activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

Purposeful deep breathing can physically calm your body down. Breathing more deeply also allows for more carbon dioxide to enter your blood, which quiets down parts of the brain, like the amygdala, that handles your anxiety response. Per Dr. Rhoads, more carbon dioxide also helps synchronize your heartbeat and breathing. In addition, deep breathing is one of the best ways to lower stress in the body. When you breathe deeply, it sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax. The brain then sends this message to your body.

When you take a deep breath in, your heart rate quickens slightly. As you exhale, your heart rate slows down. Repeated deep breaths will naturally bring your heart rate more in sync with your breath. This leads your brain to release endorphins, which are chemicals that have a natural calming effect. Furthermore, deep breathing allows more oxygen to the brain which can improve cognitive function like problems solving.

Let’s review a few deep breathing exercises, including belly breathing and 4-4-8 breathing.

Belly Breathing:

Ideally practice this exercise a few times a day like before you get out of bed, during a short break at work or school, and during the evening. The more often you can practice this exercise, the more beneficial it becomes.

1. Sit or lie flat in a comfortable position.

2. Put one hand on your belly just below your ribs and the other hand on your chest.

3. Take a deep breath in through your nose, and let your belly push your hand out. Ideally, your chest should not move.

4. Breathe out through pursed lips as if you were whistling. Feel the hand on your belly go in, and use it to push all the air out.

5. Do this breathing 4 to 8 times and take your time with each breath.

6. Notice how your mind and body feel.

4-4-8 Breathing:

As mentioned above, ideally practice this exercise a few times a day such as before you get out of bed, during a short break at work or school, and during the evening. The more often you can practice this exercise, the more beneficial it becomes.

1. Put one hand on your belly and the other hand on your chest as in the belly breathing exercise.

2. Take a deep, slow breath from your belly, and silently count to 4 as you breathe in.

3. Hold your breath, and silently count from 1 to 4.

4. Breathe out completely as you silently count from 1 to 8. Try to get all the air out of your lungs by the time you count to 8.

5. Repeat 4 to 6 times or until you feel calm.

6. Notice how you feel at the end of the exercise.

Be kind and patient with yourself as you practice deep breathing. Most people tend to breathe from the chest so be patient. Recognize that you might not notice results immediately, and that’s OK. Be sure to give yourself credit for trying, and keep practicing even just for a few minutes at a time. Once you reach a point where you notice it’s helping, keep practicing until you make deep breathing a daily habit. Remember that you have to practice deep breathing on a regular basis in order for it to be helpful.

If you are needing help in making self-care a priority in your day-to-day life, please consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.

3 Elements of Self-Compassion

Dr. Kristin Neff is one of the world’s leading experts in self-compassion. She describes self-compassion as “treating yourself the way you would want to treat a friend who is having a hard time.” Dr. Neff believes that self-compassion is being patient, kind, and understanding when faced with personal failings instead of “mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings.” As a result of practicing self-compassion, “we become an inner ally instead of an inner enemy.” Dr. Neff’s research on self-compassion involves three core elements: mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity.

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice of being aware of the present moment. It involves being aware of each moment-to-moment experience in a clear and balanced manner. Mindfulness means being open to the present moment's reality. It is allowing all thoughts, sensations, and emotions to enter awareness without avoiding it or resisting it. Mindfulness can help us face the truth of our experience even when it’s uncomfortable and unpleasant rather than avoid painful thoughts and emotions. It allows us to have the presence of mind to respond in a new way.

2. Self - Kindness

Self-kindness is caring toward ourselves as we are towards other people. It is being supportive and encouraging so that we can protect ourselves from harm. Self-kindness is choosing to soothe and comfort ourselves when external life circumstances are challenging and feel too difficult to bear. Instead of berating ourselves for being inadequate, we offer ourselves warmth and unconditional acceptance. Self-kindness is treating ourselves with warmth and patience especially during challenging times.

3. Common Humanity

A sense of interconnectedness is central to self-compassion. It’s recognizing that all humans are flawed works-in-progress, that everyone fails, makes mistakes, and experiences hardship in life. It is learning to accept and forgive ourselves for our flaws since we are not perfect beings. Self-compassion honors the unavoidable fact that life entails suffering for everyone, without exception. Common humanity helps us to remember that pain is part of the shared human experience, however, every moment of suffering can be transformed into a moment of connection with others.

In summary, Dr. Neff believes that another way to describe the three essential elements of self-compassion is loving, (self-kindness), connected (common humanity) presence (mindfulness). “When we are in the mind state of loving, connected presence, our relationship to ourselves, others, and the world is transformed.”

Self-compassion is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and our loved ones. My hope for you is that you choose to practice self-compassion every day. As Steve Maraboli once said, “the most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.”

If you are needing help in making self-care a priority in your day-to-day life, please consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.

How to Create Healthy Boundaries

Creating healthy boundaries is essential in establishing and maintaining a healthy relationship. Boundaries are basic guidelines of how you want to be treated respectfully. Setting boundaries allows you to let another person know what is acceptable and unacceptable. It is important to establish healthy emotional, physical, and psychological boundaries in relationships so we can feel respected and safe.

Why is it important to set healthy boundaries?

1. To set healthy limits in a relationship.

2. To communicate your needs in a relationship.

3. To practice self-care and self-respect.

4. To make time and create a space for positive interactions.

What are some examples of healthy boundaries?

1. Accepting when someone says no.

2. Being aware of your own wants and needs and being able to communicate them.

3. Able to share personal information in an appropriate manner.

4. The ability not to compromise values for another person.

5. You value your own thoughts and opinions.

One way to maintain your healthy boundaries is to identify your limits in a relationship. Recognize acceptable ways of behaving in a relationship. For example, if you tell the other person you are busy and that person continues to call or text you. A person that does not respect no for an answer is violating your boundaries. A second way to maintain healthy boundaries is to be firm about your boundaries and have a plan for what happens if the boundary is violated. Set a reasonable and firm consequence with this person if they have disrespected your boundary.

Some suggestions for setting healthy boundaries:

1. Set a boundary in a clear, firm, calm, and respectful manner. Use as few words as possible. There is no need to justify or apologize for setting the boundary.

2. You are only responsible for expressing your boundary in a respectful manner. Remember you are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to your boundary.

3. Remind yourself that setting boundaries is a form of self-care and it takes determination and practice.

4. Develop a support system of people you trust and who respect your right to set boundaries.

Creating healthy boundaries is empowering. By recognizing the need to set and enforce limits, you maintain self-respect, protect your self-concept, and can enjoy healthy relationships.

If you are needing help in dealing with your relationships, please consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.

6 Tips to Increase Self - Motivation

Rather than writing about new year's resolutions, I thought why not write about motivation. According to the dictionary, motivation is the general desire or willingness of someone to do something. More specifically self -motivation is our internal drive to achieve, develop, and keep moving forward. Self-motivation is encouraging yourself to continue making progress toward a goal even when it feels challenging. Below is a list of suggestions that remind us that action is what leads to motivation.

1. Practice daily gratitude. Gratitude increases your feelings of abundance. Gratitude can also increase your energy level. Expressing gratitude helps make you more creative which can deepen your motivation.

2. Create empowering beliefs. Change your negative self-limiting beliefs by focusing on your self-talk. Practice daily statements that increase your self-confidence. Catch yourself when you think negatively about yourself and transform those thoughts into empowering thoughts.

3. Set realistic goals. Try practicing SMART goals by Peter Drucker. To make sure your goals are clear and reachable, each one should be:

• Specific (simple, sensible, significant).

• Measurable (meaningful, motivating).

• Achievable (agreed, attainable).

• Relevant (reasonable, realistic, results-based).

• Time-bound (time-limited, , time-sensitive).

4. Spend time outdoors. Going outside and being in nature is a great way to take a break. Being in nature is a wonderful way to boost your energy and feel refreshed when returning to your tasks. Researchers have found that being in nature helps reduce blood pressure, reduces stress, and simply makes us feel happy.

5. Create an action plan. Focus on writing down your goals and create steps to accomplish your goals. Make your action plan visible so that you can refer to it often, especially when things get challenging along the way.

6. Focus on your accomplishments. Pay attention to your process and take mindful moments to notice what you have completed rather than what’s left to do. Celebrate your success which can increase motivation and refocus your mind.

If you are needing help, please consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.

The Heart-Focused Breathing Technique

HeartMath has developed a research-based system of scientifically validated techniques, tools and technology to increase emotional and mental self-regulation. The tools can help us gain greater self-regulation and a new perspective.  Most of the HeartMath techniques include an intentional shift to a positive emotional state to help gain coherence.  The Heart-Focused Breathing Technique is a powerful tool to practice and gain an ability to neutralize emotions such as anxiety, and anger.   

The Heart-Focused Breathing Technique is an easy to use, energy saving self-regulation strategy.  It is designed to reduce the intensity of a stress reaction and to establish a calm, but alert state. The technique allows you to take a time-out where you can step back and neutralize your depleting emotions. We can benefit from conscious breathing, if we use it to help us shift into and sustain a more balanced state.  Breathing is only the start of what is known as a coherence building process.  

In addition, the Heart-Focused Breathing helps reduce the impact of stress on your mind and body.  It helps us reduce the energy drain in order to feel a bit more renewed.  By going to a neutral state, it helps us to detach from our emotionally charged feelings and racing mind. By practicing this technique, it gives us an opportunity to pause our thoughts and feelings long enough to consider the possible options and consequences.  

Step :

Focus your attention on the area of your heart.  Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area.  Breathe a little deeper and slower than usual.

Try and inhale for a count of 5, and exhale for a count of 5.  

Once you have become familiar with this step, all you need to remember is the quick step to neutralize stress.  

Suggestions for when to practice the Heart-Focused Breathing Technique:

1. Stop the impact of stress on your body.

2. Help neutralize emotional reactions in the moment.

3. Eliminate the energy drain.

4. Remove the drama or significance of a situation.

For more information on HeartMath or anxiety management, please call me at 858-243-2684.

Source:  Transforming Anxiety by Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman.

ADHD and COVID-19: 5 Suggestions for Academic Success

During the COVID-19 pandemic, most children are needing some extra guidance on how to navigate this academic school year virtually.  Students who have ADHD already struggle with sustained attention, distractibility, and forgetfulness in daily activities.   Students are missing the social aspect of school and the structure that the classroom provides.  Let’s discuss some helpful tips for our students with ADHD.

Five Suggestions for Academic Success:

1. Daily Routine.  Students with ADHD can really benefit from a visual schedule to help with time management.  Know your student’s virtual school schedule so that you can help your child manage their daily schedule. Find a convenient place to display their daily schedule.  Let your student be creative in designing the schedule with artwork and color.  Suggest color coordinating the schedule per class (for example blue is math, english is green…)   Encourage your student to wake up at the same time and go to bed at the same time.  Make sure to make time for eating breakfast and lunch. Remind them to take breaks in between classes to go to the kitchen for water and a snack and go to the bathroom.  Encourage your child to put in their best effort in completing assignments then reward him/herself with a fun and pleasurable activity.  

2. Distraction free area at home.  Help your child develop a space that is just for school.  Keep minimal items on the desk or table so that only the essentials are available.  Ask you student where they want to put their folders, pens, pencils and help them stay organized. Help your student understand the value in a clutter free space. If possible, have a visible calendar, either daily or weekly, in their study area as mentioned above. 

3. Clear expectations.  All students thrive when they know what to expect especially students with ADHD.  Help your child set realistic daily school goals.  Teach and encourage your student to add an extra 15 - 20 minutes to their schedule for the unknowns like wifi problems or printing problems.  Help your student understand what the teacher expects of him/her and have the same expectations at home. 

4. Movement.   Encourage your child to take movement breaks in between classes.  Research shows that physical activity and movement helps increase decision making, attention and learning. According to Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, with physical activity, executive function performance can improve in about 20 minutes, and ADHD symptoms can reduce in intensity after 30 minutes of exercise.  Remind your student that exercise is also a great stress reliever .

5. Rewards.  Students with ADHD can flourish with rewards.  Ideally use rewards first to improve behavior.  Compromise with your child on rewards for accomplishments. For example, if your student completes his/her homework before dinner time, make his/her favorite meal that day or allow your child to select the movie for family movie night.  Recognize your child often for being on task and getting work done like giving them a high five. Express how proud you are of your child when she/he demonstrates great effort.

If you want additional support, please contact me for a free 15 minute phone consultation.  Call me at 858-243-2684.

6 Benefits of Green Exercise

Have you ever noticed how you feel when you are outside in nature?  What do you notice when you’re walking or exercising outside?  Let’s explore the benefits of exercising in nature.  

Being in nature by itself is known to help you relax, restore your focus and increase your level of happiness.   Green exercise is any type of physical activity completed outdoors. Some examples of green exercise are doing yoga at a park, walking in a canyon or beach, running, cycling or gardening.   

Benefits of Exercising Outdoors:

1.  Green exercise is linked to greater use of the imagination and senses, and cognitive advantages.

2. Some studies have shown that children exercising outdoors have significantly lower levels of cortisol as compared to children exercising indoors.  Cortisol is a hormone released in the body in response to stress.

3.  Exercising outdoors seems to reduce your rating of perceived exertion.  In other words, exercising outside can be experienced as having more fun which helps the exercise seem less difficult.  

4. A study conducted by Barton and Pretty found that the greater the time spent doing green exercise, the greater the benefit in both self-esteem and mood. Thus, the study found that engaging in green exercise showed improvements in mental health.

5.  Exercising outside increases the chances that you will continue to participate in physical activity in the future, and more likely to adhere to a program in general.

6.  Outdoor exercise can enhance our engagement in nature as we learn to pay closer attention and to be mindful of our bodies as we bike on a dirt path or hike a rocky slope. 

In conclusion, there are great benefits to exercising, especially outdoors.  Give yourself permission to exercise outdoors and enjoy being in nature at the same time.  I hope you  make exercise a part of your daily self care.  

If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

The Power of Self Care During Uncertain Times

During this COVID-19 health crisis it is normal to feel stressed and anxious.  Every day we hear about more problems and concerns that are impacting everyone everywhere.  Our daily lives have been disrupted by being in quarantine and we are navigating uncharted territory.  

In order to find some order in our lives we really need to focus on creating a daily schedule that allows us to take better care of ourselves given the multiple responsibilities with family and work.  I think one of the greatest gifts we can offer ourselves is self care.

Suggestions for daily self care:

• Focus on what is in our control every single moment of the day which is how we choose to think and behave.  It helps remind us that in the moment we are ok and we do have control of our thoughts and behaviors.

• Take 5 minute breaks a few times a day to practice diaphragmatic breathing.  It allows us to focus on a deep inhalation through the nose and a deep exhalation through the mouth. Deep breathing calms our mind and body and helps us to be in the moment.

• Make sleep a daily priority by trying to go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time, if possible.  Prior to going to sleep, spend some time doing something relaxing that does not involve a screen. 

• Before you get out of bed in the morning practice a short guided meditation via YouTube or a free app like My Life or Calm.  

• Take 10 minute breaks a few times a day to stretch, walk around and do shoulder rolls, especially if you are sitting on your computer for extended periods of time.  

• Given the stressful circumstances, please practice more self compassion and patience with yourself and others.

• Be mindful of what you are choosing to eat and focus on adding more color to your diet. Also be sure to drink plenty of water. 

• Make time for joy and laughter during the day and learn to laugh at yourself.

• Limit the amount of time reading the news to the morning or afternoon since too much focus on the COVID-19 health crisis can fuel more worries and anxiety.

• Make time to exercise ideally outside if possible.  Being in nature helps us feel better emotionally and it can help reduce blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension, and the production of stress hormones.

• Given current quarantine restrictions and physical distancing, take time to connect with family and friends virtually on a regular basis to limit the feelings of isolation.

• Limit the amount of time on a screen (phones, Ipads, laptops,...) and instead listen to music, play cards, board games or do a puzzle.

If you are struggling with self care, consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how counseling can be helpful.

 

15 Self Care Ideas for Teens

As a teen, you have endless responsibilities and stressors on a daily basis.  Learning to navigate your various responsibilities such as school work, extra curricular activities and a job can be overwhelming if you don’t take care of yourself.  Remind yourself that you have 1440 minutes in a day and make self care a part of your daily routine. Try practicing 3 of the following ideas on a daily basis.

1. Set realistic goals for the day.

2. Practice deep breathing:  Inhale for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of  6. 

3. Go for a walk with a friend.

4. Make time to decompress without your phone before you get into bed (try stretching while focusing on what you accomplished today).

5.  Express your thoughts and feelings (talk to a friend, journal, do art).

6.  Exercise (go for a run, ride your bike, or do some calisthenics in your bedroom).

7.  Read a book for pleasure.

8.  LAUGH, and learn to laugh at yourself.

9.  Think of 3 things you’re grateful for every day (ideally start a gratitude journal).

10.  Listen to music.

11.  Spend time in nature (science shows that spending time outside is good for you).

12. Spend time with friends.

13.  Play with your pet or your friend’s pet.

14.  Practice meditation. (If new to meditation, search up a how to meditate 101)

15.  Be kind and patient with yourself.  

If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

Transform Your Stress: Try Quick Coherence Technique

Stress and Coherence

Stress impacts the body emotionally, physically and mentally.  What’s important to remember is that the situation does not create the stress, instead it is how we respond to it.  Emotions directly impact our body. Positive emotions like kindness, love and appreciation feel good and are good for us.  These positive feelings help the systems in our body work more effectively.

Research indicates that when we intentionally shift to a positive emotion, the heart rhythms also change.  This shift in heart rhythms creates a favorable impact on our entire body.

When we are feeling stressed, the body is out of sync.  Depleting feelings, like worry, anxiety and anger negatively impact our nervous system.  Renewing feelings, like kindness, care and appreciation create order. This order is termed coherence.  Coherence leads to self regulation, creativity, mental clarity and resiliency. 

How to Practice Coherence:

The Quick Coherence Technique

Step One:  Focus your attention in the area of the heart, the center of your chest.  Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual.

Suggestion:  Inhale for 5 seconds, exhale for 5 seconds (or whatever rhythm is comfortable for you)

Step Two:  Make a sincere attempt to experience a regenerative feeling such as appreciation or care for someone or something in your life. 

Suggestion:  Try to re-experience a regenerative feeling you have for someone you love or focus on a feeling of calm and ease.   

I recommend practicing the Quick Coherence Technique at least 3 times a day for a few minutes each time.  Ideally try practicing in the morning before you get out of bed, during lunch time and before going to sleep at night. Over time, I encourage you to practice the Quick Coherence Technique multiple times a day.  With practice, you may experience better sleep, mental clarity and more calm.

If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.