6 Mental Health Benefits of Exercise

Most of us know the many physical benefits of exercise like increased energy, weight control, lower blood pressure, and reduced risk of diabetes. But what about the psychological benefits of exercise? Did you know that exercise can help lessen symptoms of depression and anxiety and keep your memory sharp? Let’s explore six mental health benefits of exercise.

6 Mental Health Benefits of Exercise

1. Exercise and Depression

   Studies show that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication but without any side effects. For example, a study by Harvard’s School of Public Health found that walking for an hour or running for 15 minutes a day reduces the risk of major depression by 26%. In addition to relieving symptoms of depression, research also shows that maintaining an exercise schedule can prevent you from relapsing. Some researchers suspect exercise alleviates chronic depression by increasing serotonin, the neurotransmitter targeted by antidepressants. Furthermore, exercise promotes all kinds of changes in the brain, like reduced inflammation, neural growth, and new activity patterns that promote feelings of well-being and calm. Additionally, exercise helps with good blood flow, improves circulation, and stimulates the growth of new blood vessels in the brain. In addition, physical exercise releases endorphins, powerful chemicals in your brain that energize your spirits and make you feel good. Finally, exercise can also serve as a distraction, since it provides some quiet time to break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that feed depression.

2. Exercise and Anxiety

   Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment. It relieves stress and tension, boosts mental and physical energy, and enhances well-being by releasing endorphins, peptides produced in the brain that block the perception of pain and increase feelings of well-being. Furthermore, moving your body decreases muscle tension, lowering the body’s contribution to feeling anxious. In addition, exercise activates frontal regions of the brain that are responsible for executive function, and therefore helps control the amygdala, our reacting system to real or imagined threats to our survival.

   One possibility is that exercise buffs up the brain and the body. Physical exercise triggers the release of a protein known as brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). BDNF encourages the growth of new brain cells, possibly, in the hippocampus, a brain region important in learning and memory. Since the hippocampus tends to be smaller or distorted in people with anxiety and depression, boosting BDNF through exercise might be a way physical activity might help manage these conditions.

3. Decreased Stress
   Another mental benefit of exercise is reduced stress levels, something that can make everyone happier. Increasing your heart rate can reverse stress-induced brain damage by stimulating the production of neurohormones like norepinephrine, which improves cognition and mood and clouded thinking by stressful events. In addition, exercise forces the body’s central and sympathetic nervous systems to communicate with one another, improving the body’s overall ability to respond to stress.

   Think about how your body feels when you're stressed. Your muscles may be tense, especially in your neck and shoulders, leaving you with back or neck pain, or painful headaches. You may feel a tightness in your chest, a pounding pulse, or muscle cramps. You might also experience problems such as stomachache, insomnia, heartburn, diarrhea, or frequent urination. The worry and discomfort of all these physical symptoms can lead to even more stress, creating a vicious cycle between your mind and body.

   Exercising is an effective way to break this cycle. As well as releasing endorphins in the brain, physical activity helps to relax the muscles and relieve tension in the body. Since the body and mind are so closely linked, when your body feels better so will your mind.

4. Increased Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence
   From improving endurance to losing weight and increasing muscle tone, there’s no shortage of physical achievements due to regular exercise. All those achievements can add up to boosting your self-esteem, as well as the confidence that comes with it. You may not set out for a slimmer physique or the ability to climb a hill without getting winded. Oftentimes it happens before you even realize it. It’s just one of the many benefits of physical activity that boost your body, mind, and spirit.

   Regular exercise is an investment in your mind, body, and soul. When exercise becomes a habit, it can foster your sense of self-worth and make you feel strong and powerful. You’ll feel better about your appearance and, by meeting even small exercise goals, you’ll feel a sense of achievement.

   Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves and how we perceive our self-worth. It is a key indicator of our mental well-being and our ability to cope with life stressors. Physical activity has been shown to influence our self-worth and self-esteem positively. This relationship has been found in children, adolescents, young adults, adults, and older people, and among both males and females.

5. Better sleep
   Studies have found that proper exercise can alleviate sleep-related problems and help you get an adequate amount of rest. If you have trouble getting a good night’s sleep, exercise can help with that, too. Physical activity increases body temperature, which can have calming effects on the mind. Exercise also helps regulate your circadian rhythm, our body’s built-in alarm clock that controls when we feel tired and when we feel alert. Please note that sleep experts recommend not exercising close to bedtime.

   Moderate aerobic exercise increases the amount of slow-wave sleep you get. Slow-wave sleep refers to deep sleep, where the brain and body have a chance to rejuvenate. In addition, moderate to vigorous exercise can increase sleep quality for adults by reducing sleep onset, and the time it takes to fall asleep, and decreasing the amount of time they lie awake in bed during the night. Additionally, physical activity can help alleviate daytime sleepiness. Exercise can also help to stabilize your mood and decompress the mind.

6. Brain Boost
   From building intelligence to strengthening memory, exercise boosts brainpower in many ways. Studies on mice and humans indicate that cardiovascular exercise creates new brain cells, a process called neurogenesis, and improves overall brain performance. Exercise also prevents cognitive decline and memory loss by strengthening the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for memory and learning. In addition, studies prove that physical activity boosts creativity and mental energy. So if you need inspiration, your big idea could be just a walk or jog away.

   Exercise offers short-term boosts in cognition. Studies show that immediately after a bout of physical activity, people perform better on tests of executive functions and working memory. This might be in part because movement increases the release of neurotransmitters in the brain, most notably epinephrine and norepinephrine.

   The brain benefits start to emerge, though, when people work out consistently over time. Studies show that people who work out several times a week have on average higher cognitive test scores, than people who are more sedentary. Other research has found that a person’s cognition tends to improve after participating in a new aerobic exercise program for several months.

   Overall, there are many important mental health benefits of exercise. I hope you learned something new in this blog that helps motivate you to make time for exercise and wellness. Permit yourself to prioritize time to exercise. Learn to focus on your schedule and be sure to make time for wellness. You can walk during your lunch break, find some YouTube exercise videos that you’ll do after work or classes, go biking or hiking on the weekends, or join a gym. As exercise becomes a habit in your life, you’ll reap the benefits of exercise.

   If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

6 Benefits of Keeping a Gratitude Journal

One of the most helpful definitions of gratitude in the dictionary is “when you feel thankful for the good things in your life.” Numerous studies demonstrate how gratitude journaling can increase one’s happiness. Each study shares insights into how a person can improve their well-being and overall health. Dr. Robert Emmons believes that gratitude helps people realize that they wouldn’t be where they are without the help of others. His research indicates that practicing gratitude magnifies positive feelings more than it reduces negative feelings. In addition, Dr. Emmons's research suggests that gratitude helps you see the bigger picture and become more resilient in the face of adversity.

The Benefits of Gratitude Journaling.

1. Having a gratitude journal gives you something to boost yourself up, especially on days when life feels hard or when nothing is going your way. It becomes a helpful tool in focusing on something good. Research shows that gratitude journaling demonstrates substantial improvements in optimism. Writing down what you are thankful for, can make you more optimistic because you are choosing to see more of the positivity in your life, giving less power to negative emotions.

2. Showing gratitude and writing it down encourages you to focus on what you have in your life, rather than what is missing. This results in a release of serotonin and dopamine, the neurotransmitters that are responsible for making us feel good. It helps you to be more present and mindful as you begin to see the small joys in your everyday life.

3. Keeping a journal is a very personal activity and allows you to be present with your achievements. Expressing gratitude has been proven to reduce social comparisons. In addition, you are less likely to be resentful towards others.

4. Studies show a positive correlation between gratitude, sleep quality, and sleep duration. The practice of gratitude journaling is calming which helps to ease the mind and proves especially beneficial leading up to bedtime. Spending just 15 minutes before bed writing down a few grateful sentiments can help you have a much better night’s sleep.

5. Taking time to stop what you are doing and write in a gratitude journal helps reduce stress. More specifically, gratitude can help calm the nervous system. It helps reduce blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing to help with overall relaxation. 

6. Writing in your gratitude journal in the morning puts you in a positive frame of mind and makes you better able to deal with the ups and downs of your day. If something goes wrong, you can cope much better because you are mindful of what is right in your life.

Keeping a gratitude journal can be a simple practice. Just commit to yourself to write down the things you are grateful for the day. You can decide how long your list is each day and how much detail you want to write. Best of all, gratitude journaling is an easy habit to form. Happy writing!

If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

6 Benefits of a Good Night's Sleep

We always hear that it’s important to get a good night’s sleep. But do we really understand the importance of sleep? Let’s discuss some of the many benefits of quality sleep.

1. Memory

Sleep plays an important role in a process called memory consolidation. During sleep, your body is resting, but your brain is busy processing your day, making connections between events, feelings, sensory input, and memories. Deep sleep is a very important time for your brain to make memories and links, and getting more quality sleep will help you remember and process things better.

During the Rapid Eye Movement (REM) stage of sleep, your newly consolidated memories become interconnected with your prior memories, including those of your life as well as your library of knowledge and facts. This connection between your recent memories, prior memories, and knowledge is one reason that you may wake up with a new and valuable perspective on a problem.

2. Healthier Heart

Quality sleep promotes cardiac health. During sleep, the heart rate slows down, and blood pressure decreases. This means that during sleep, the heart and vascular system are able to rest.

Research shows that people who don’t get enough sleep are more likely to develop high blood pressure, which increases the risk of developing heart disease. Also, poor sleep promotes inflammation and chronic inflammation eventually leads to heart disease. Furthermore, recent research indicates that the heart likes consistent sleep. In a study that followed older adults for five years, those with the most irregular sleep schedules were nearly twice as likely to develop heart disease compared to adults with more regular sleep patterns. 

It’s not known why going off a regular sleep schedule (with consistent bed and wake times) affects the heart, but sleep inconsistency may disturb the body’s circadian rhythms. Blood pressure, heart rate, and other cardiovascular functions vary with the time of day and may become disrupted by inconsistent sleep.

3. Stress Reduction

When you’re sleep deprived, your body releases stress hormones. Sleep is a powerful stress reducer. Following a regular sleep routine calms and restores the body, regulates mood, improves concentration, and sharpens judgment and decision-making. When you’re well rested, you are a better problem solver and are better able to cope with stress.

Getting more rest can significantly decrease cortisol levels and restore balance to the body’s systems. For adults, the recommendation is to try to get between seven to nine hours of sleep a night to avoid the rise in hormone levels and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.

4. Reduces Anxiety

Anxiety is frequently connected to sleeping problems. Excess worry and fear make it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night. Sleep deprivation can worsen anxiety. Researchers have found that losing too much sleep can activate a region of the brain that controls emotional processing and worry. Poor sleep can overwork the heart and cause serious stress, negatively affecting your mental health and how you handle social situations. 

Adequate sleep has been proven to drastically reduce feelings of anxiety by improving your ability to process stress and react in an appropriate way. Specifically, a good night’s sleep can improve your mood and temperament. In addition, creating healthy sleep habits can make going to bed a more pleasant experience and facilitate a consistent routine to enhance sleep.

5. Boosts Immune System

The immune system is critical to overall health. It is fundamental to healing wounds, warding off infections, and protecting against chronic and life-threatening illnesses. When your body gets the proper sleep it needs, your immune cells and proteins get the rest they need to fight off illnesses like colds or the flu. Research also indicates that proper sleep can make vaccines more effective.

Sleep provides essential support to the immune system. Getting sufficient hours of high-quality sleep enables a well-balanced immune defense that features strong innate and adaptive immunity, and less severe allergic reactions.

Furthermore, during sleep, the body produces growth hormones necessary for development in children and adolescents. These growth hormones also repair tissues and cells in people of all ages. The body also produces cytokines during sleep, which support the immune system in fighting infections.

6. Decreases Weight Gain

Research indicates that a lack of sleep is linked to poorer food choices, increased hunger and calorie intake, decreased physical activity, and ultimately weight gain. Getting enough sleep may help prevent increases in calorie intake and appetite. Sufficient sleep helps you avoid decreases in metabolism that can happen when you haven’t gotten enough sleep.

Science shows that when you're well-rested, you're less hungry. Good quality sleep doesn’t mess with the hormones leptin and ghrelin that control appetite. More specifically, during sleep, the body naturally produces more of an appetite suppressor, called leptin, while reducing the production of the appetite stimulant ghrelin.

Now that we better understand the many benefits of a good night’s sleep, make sure to focus on creating a healthy sleep hygiene routine. Some helpful suggestions include avoiding caffeine and alcohol 4 to 6 hours before you go to bed. Going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time. At least one hour before you go to bed, turn off all electronics and practice relaxation techniques such as guided imagery, yoga stretches, meditation, prayer, or deep breathing exercises. Happy Zzz’s.

For more information about sleep difficulties, please call me at 858-243-2684.

The Power of Deep Breathing

According to the Stress in America 2020 survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA), Americans have been profoundly affected by the COVID-19 pandemic, and the multitude of factors Americans have listed in previous years as significant sources of stress remain present and problematic. Given the intensity and duration of these ongoing stressors especially the persistence of this pandemic, APA has issued a warning: We are facing a national mental health crisis that could yield serious health and social consequences for years to come.

Given the endless stressors in our lives especially in the middle of a pandemic, I want to suggest that we make deep breathing a daily practice. Deep breathing also known as diaphragmatic breathing is a practice that enables more air to flow in our body. With practice, deep breathing can help to calm our nerves which helps to reduce anxiety and stress. Most of us take breathing for granted since we typically don’t pay attention to our breathing. Learning to pay attention to how we’re breathing can make a positive impact on our stress levels.

Your autonomic nervous system, which controls involuntary actions like heart rate and digestion, is split into two parts. One part, the sympathetic nervous system (the red zone) controls your fight-or-flight response. The other part, the parasympathetic nervous system (the green zone) controls your rest and digest response. These two parts of your nervous system can’t be turned on at the same time, which means if you work to activate one, the other will be suppressed. As a result, when you pay attention to your breathing you realize that you can control your breathing and with practice, you can activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

Purposeful deep breathing can physically calm your body down. Breathing more deeply also allows for more carbon dioxide to enter your blood, which quiets down parts of the brain, like the amygdala, that handles your anxiety response. Per Dr. Rhoads, more carbon dioxide also helps synchronize your heartbeat and breathing. In addition, deep breathing is one of the best ways to lower stress in the body. When you breathe deeply, it sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax. The brain then sends this message to your body.

When you take a deep breath in, your heart rate quickens slightly. As you exhale, your heart rate slows down. Repeated deep breaths will naturally bring your heart rate more in sync with your breath. This leads your brain to release endorphins, which are chemicals that have a natural calming effect. Furthermore, deep breathing allows more oxygen to the brain which can improve cognitive function like problems solving.

Let’s review a few deep breathing exercises, including belly breathing and 4-4-8 breathing.

Belly Breathing:

Ideally practice this exercise a few times a day like before you get out of bed, during a short break at work or school, and during the evening. The more often you can practice this exercise, the more beneficial it becomes.

1. Sit or lie flat in a comfortable position.

2. Put one hand on your belly just below your ribs and the other hand on your chest.

3. Take a deep breath in through your nose, and let your belly push your hand out. Ideally, your chest should not move.

4. Breathe out through pursed lips as if you were whistling. Feel the hand on your belly go in, and use it to push all the air out.

5. Do this breathing 4 to 8 times and take your time with each breath.

6. Notice how your mind and body feel.

4-4-8 Breathing:

As mentioned above, ideally practice this exercise a few times a day such as before you get out of bed, during a short break at work or school, and during the evening. The more often you can practice this exercise, the more beneficial it becomes.

1. Put one hand on your belly and the other hand on your chest as in the belly breathing exercise.

2. Take a deep, slow breath from your belly, and silently count to 4 as you breathe in.

3. Hold your breath, and silently count from 1 to 4.

4. Breathe out completely as you silently count from 1 to 8. Try to get all the air out of your lungs by the time you count to 8.

5. Repeat 4 to 6 times or until you feel calm.

6. Notice how you feel at the end of the exercise.

Be kind and patient with yourself as you practice deep breathing. Most people tend to breathe from the chest so be patient. Recognize that you might not notice results immediately, and that’s OK. Be sure to give yourself credit for trying, and keep practicing even just for a few minutes at a time. Once you reach a point where you notice it’s helping, keep practicing until you make deep breathing a daily habit. Remember that you have to practice deep breathing on a regular basis in order for it to be helpful.

If you are needing help in making self-care a priority in your day-to-day life, please consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.

3 Elements of Self-Compassion

Dr. Kristin Neff is one of the world’s leading experts in self-compassion. She describes self-compassion as “treating yourself the way you would want to treat a friend who is having a hard time.” Dr. Neff believes that self-compassion is being patient, kind, and understanding when faced with personal failings instead of “mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings.” As a result of practicing self-compassion, “we become an inner ally instead of an inner enemy.” Dr. Neff’s research on self-compassion involves three core elements: mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity.

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice of being aware of the present moment. It involves being aware of each moment-to-moment experience in a clear and balanced manner. Mindfulness means being open to the present moment's reality. It is allowing all thoughts, sensations, and emotions to enter awareness without avoiding it or resisting it. Mindfulness can help us face the truth of our experience even when it’s uncomfortable and unpleasant rather than avoid painful thoughts and emotions. It allows us to have the presence of mind to respond in a new way.

2. Self - Kindness

Self-kindness is caring toward ourselves as we are towards other people. It is being supportive and encouraging so that we can protect ourselves from harm. Self-kindness is choosing to soothe and comfort ourselves when external life circumstances are challenging and feel too difficult to bear. Instead of berating ourselves for being inadequate, we offer ourselves warmth and unconditional acceptance. Self-kindness is treating ourselves with warmth and patience especially during challenging times.

3. Common Humanity

A sense of interconnectedness is central to self-compassion. It’s recognizing that all humans are flawed works-in-progress, that everyone fails, makes mistakes, and experiences hardship in life. It is learning to accept and forgive ourselves for our flaws since we are not perfect beings. Self-compassion honors the unavoidable fact that life entails suffering for everyone, without exception. Common humanity helps us to remember that pain is part of the shared human experience, however, every moment of suffering can be transformed into a moment of connection with others.

In summary, Dr. Neff believes that another way to describe the three essential elements of self-compassion is loving, (self-kindness), connected (common humanity) presence (mindfulness). “When we are in the mind state of loving, connected presence, our relationship to ourselves, others, and the world is transformed.”

Self-compassion is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and our loved ones. My hope for you is that you choose to practice self-compassion every day. As Steve Maraboli once said, “the most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.”

If you are needing help in making self-care a priority in your day-to-day life, please consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.

How to Create Healthy Boundaries

Creating healthy boundaries is essential in establishing and maintaining a healthy relationship. Boundaries are basic guidelines of how you want to be treated respectfully. Setting boundaries allows you to let another person know what is acceptable and unacceptable. It is important to establish healthy emotional, physical, and psychological boundaries in relationships so we can feel respected and safe.

Why is it important to set healthy boundaries?

1. To set healthy limits in a relationship.

2. To communicate your needs in a relationship.

3. To practice self-care and self-respect.

4. To make time and create a space for positive interactions.

What are some examples of healthy boundaries?

1. Accepting when someone says no.

2. Being aware of your own wants and needs and being able to communicate them.

3. Able to share personal information in an appropriate manner.

4. The ability not to compromise values for another person.

5. You value your own thoughts and opinions.

One way to maintain your healthy boundaries is to identify your limits in a relationship. Recognize acceptable ways of behaving in a relationship. For example, if you tell the other person you are busy and that person continues to call or text you. A person that does not respect no for an answer is violating your boundaries. A second way to maintain healthy boundaries is to be firm about your boundaries and have a plan for what happens if the boundary is violated. Set a reasonable and firm consequence with this person if they have disrespected your boundary.

Some suggestions for setting healthy boundaries:

1. Set a boundary in a clear, firm, calm, and respectful manner. Use as few words as possible. There is no need to justify or apologize for setting the boundary.

2. You are only responsible for expressing your boundary in a respectful manner. Remember you are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to your boundary.

3. Remind yourself that setting boundaries is a form of self-care and it takes determination and practice.

4. Develop a support system of people you trust and who respect your right to set boundaries.

Creating healthy boundaries is empowering. By recognizing the need to set and enforce limits, you maintain self-respect, protect your self-concept, and can enjoy healthy relationships.

If you are needing help in dealing with your relationships, please consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.

The Power of Mindful Moments

We often hear the word mindfulness but what does it really mean?  As psychologist Dr. Tara Brach once said, “Mindfulness is a way of paying attention moment-to-moment to what's happening within and around us without judgment. So, said differently, when we attend to the moment-to-moment flow of experience, and recognize what's happening…fully allowing it, not adding judgment or commentary, then we are cultivating a mindful awareness.”  

Numerous studies link mindfulness to better health, lower anxiety, and greater resilience to stress. When we’re mindful, we gain insight, reduce stress, enhance performance, and increase awareness by observing our own mind.  

One way to begin practicing mindfulness is recognizing that it is a wonderful way to focus on our self care.  Mindful moments can provide a much needed respite during the current stressful and unprecedented times.  Self care is critical to our mental and physical well being. 

Suggestions for mindful moments:

1. Close your eyes for a few minutes and pay attention to your breath.  Focus on inhaling for a count of 5 and exhaling for a count of 5.

2.  Before getting out of bed in the morning, think of 3 things you are grateful for and focus on your breathing.

3.  Practice 4-4-8 breathing.  Inhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of 8.  The deep exhalation helps to access the parasympathetic nervous system known as the rest and digest system.

4. When sitting at work, stand up and practice stretching for a few minutes.  Practice doing forward and backward shoulder rolls, stretch your arms above your head and then try and touch your toes.

5. During lunch, go outside and walk for a few minutes and take a look up at the sky and/or smell a flower.

6.  Take a few minutes to close your eyes and visualize a safe relaxing place while focusing on your senses.  What do you see, hear, smell, taste and touch? Allow yourself to be in the moment at your favorite relaxing space.   

My hope for you is that you make self care a priority in your life. It is also a great way to teach our kids effective ways of navigating daily stressors. Once you practice simple self care strategies, you'll likely recognize the many benefits for your mental and physical well being.

If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

6 Benefits of Green Exercise

Have you ever noticed how you feel when you are outside in nature?  What do you notice when you’re walking or exercising outside?  Let’s explore the benefits of exercising in nature.  

Being in nature by itself is known to help you relax, restore your focus and increase your level of happiness.   Green exercise is any type of physical activity completed outdoors. Some examples of green exercise are doing yoga at a park, walking in a canyon or beach, running, cycling or gardening.   

Benefits of Exercising Outdoors:

1.  Green exercise is linked to greater use of the imagination and senses, and cognitive advantages.

2. Some studies have shown that children exercising outdoors have significantly lower levels of cortisol as compared to children exercising indoors.  Cortisol is a hormone released in the body in response to stress.

3.  Exercising outdoors seems to reduce your rating of perceived exertion.  In other words, exercising outside can be experienced as having more fun which helps the exercise seem less difficult.  

4. A study conducted by Barton and Pretty found that the greater the time spent doing green exercise, the greater the benefit in both self-esteem and mood. Thus, the study found that engaging in green exercise showed improvements in mental health.

5.  Exercising outside increases the chances that you will continue to participate in physical activity in the future, and more likely to adhere to a program in general.

6.  Outdoor exercise can enhance our engagement in nature as we learn to pay closer attention and to be mindful of our bodies as we bike on a dirt path or hike a rocky slope. 

In conclusion, there are great benefits to exercising, especially outdoors.  Give yourself permission to exercise outdoors and enjoy being in nature at the same time.  I hope you  make exercise a part of your daily self care.  

If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

5 Ways to Stop Thinking You're Not Good Enough

We live in a culture of comparison and competition which can be fierce. Social media floods us with the belief of not being enough: not pretty enough, not good looking enough, not smart enough and so on.  Our teens’ lives are super focused on competition like getting the best grades, being involved with endless extra curriculars, taking as many AP classes in order to get into the best colleges.  No wonder our society has the highest rates of anxiety and depression for kids and adolescents.  

As the saying goes, we are our worst enemies.  This culture of comparison and competition only fuels anxiety, anger, depression and shame.  It magnifies self defeating thoughts and behaviors.  We need to decide enough is enough.  It’s time for a paradigm shift.  Let us make self care a priority so we can practice taking better care of ourselves and our kids.  

Let’s take a look at 5 strategies that can help us stop thinking “I’m not enough” and learn to acknowledge and focus on our personal strengths.

1.  Practice daily self care.  Make time everyday to get enough sleep, eat healthy balanced meals and get exercise.  Learn to make time for joy, laughter and play.  Begin a gratitude journal first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed. Start small and list 3 things you are grateful for during that day.  Research shows that gratitude is good for our minds, bodies and relationships.

2. Practice challenging your negative, self defeating thoughts. Recognize that you have control over your thoughts.  Cognitive distortions are irrational thoughts that are false, inaccurate and can cause psychological damage.  Common cognitive distortions are all or none thinking, emotional reasoning, personalization, jumping to conclusions and should statements.  With daily practice, you can learn to pay attention to your thoughts, challenge your distorted thinking and learn to think more rationally and balanced.  

3. Learn to talk back to your inner critic.  The inner critic usually is the voice that judges you, belittles you, doubts you and tells you you are not enough.  Usually the inner critic thinks it’s protecting you but it actually robs you of emotional well being and peace of mind.  Start an inner critic log and notice the content of the self criticism.  Learn how to talk back to your inner critic with acceptance and compassion.  An example might be  “I hear you loud and clear, but I'm also going to consider other ways of thinking about this situation."   

4. Learn to focus on your needs and wants.  Someone who feels “not good enough” is usually focused on who they think they’re supposed to be.  If you don’t feel good enough, you may not value yourself enough to see your wants as important.  Give yourself permission to focus on what you need and want for the day.  With practice, you can learn how to ask for what you want and need in your relationships. 

5. Practice being in the present moment.  We tend to focus on the past which fuels guilt and shame or focus on the future which fuels anxiety.  Learn to be present in the here and now.  Practice deep diaphragmatic breaths which help calm the mind and body.  Being in the present moment reminds us that we are ok right here and now.  It helps us to be responsive, not reactive.  Being present allows us to be better engaged in our relationships.  

If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

The Power of Self Care During Uncertain Times

During this COVID-19 health crisis it is normal to feel stressed and anxious.  Every day we hear about more problems and concerns that are impacting everyone everywhere.  Our daily lives have been disrupted by being in quarantine and we are navigating uncharted territory.  

In order to find some order in our lives we really need to focus on creating a daily schedule that allows us to take better care of ourselves given the multiple responsibilities with family and work.  I think one of the greatest gifts we can offer ourselves is self care.

Suggestions for daily self care:

• Focus on what is in our control every single moment of the day which is how we choose to think and behave.  It helps remind us that in the moment we are ok and we do have control of our thoughts and behaviors.

• Take 5 minute breaks a few times a day to practice diaphragmatic breathing.  It allows us to focus on a deep inhalation through the nose and a deep exhalation through the mouth. Deep breathing calms our mind and body and helps us to be in the moment.

• Make sleep a daily priority by trying to go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time, if possible.  Prior to going to sleep, spend some time doing something relaxing that does not involve a screen. 

• Before you get out of bed in the morning practice a short guided meditation via YouTube or a free app like My Life or Calm.  

• Take 10 minute breaks a few times a day to stretch, walk around and do shoulder rolls, especially if you are sitting on your computer for extended periods of time.  

• Given the stressful circumstances, please practice more self compassion and patience with yourself and others.

• Be mindful of what you are choosing to eat and focus on adding more color to your diet. Also be sure to drink plenty of water. 

• Make time for joy and laughter during the day and learn to laugh at yourself.

• Limit the amount of time reading the news to the morning or afternoon since too much focus on the COVID-19 health crisis can fuel more worries and anxiety.

• Make time to exercise ideally outside if possible.  Being in nature helps us feel better emotionally and it can help reduce blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension, and the production of stress hormones.

• Given current quarantine restrictions and physical distancing, take time to connect with family and friends virtually on a regular basis to limit the feelings of isolation.

• Limit the amount of time on a screen (phones, Ipads, laptops,...) and instead listen to music, play cards, board games or do a puzzle.

If you are struggling with self care, consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how counseling can be helpful.

 

How to Navigate Test Anxiety

Most students experience some level of anxiety when taking an exam.  When the anxiety is intense and interferes with test performance, it is known as test anxiety.  Test anxiety is considered a performance anxiety since there is pressure to do well in a given situation.  

The stress over the exam produces the body’s “fight or flight” response. Your body releases adrenaline but the energy used to access short term memory gets diverted into being on high alert. As a result, the brain prepares for the worst, and it becomes very challenging to imagine being successful in answering questions.

The symptoms of test anxiety include cognitive, physical and emotional.  Cognitive symptoms include mind blanking, racing thoughts and difficulty concentrating.  Physical symptoms can be sweating, increased heart rate, nausea, or tense muscles. Emotional symptoms include worry, frustration, fear or  disappointment.

How to reduce your test anxiety:

1. Practice deep breathing exercises daily.

2. Eat well balanced meals. 

3. Keep hydrated.

4. Exercise to reduce anxiety and stress.

5. Keep organized and maintain a realistic study schedule.

6. Go to bed at a reasonable hour so you can get at least 7 hours of sleep a night.

7. Be proactive and ask your teacher, friend or counselor for help.

What to do on the day of the test:

1. Practice deep breathing as you are walking to your exam and during the exam.

2. Practice positive self talk such as “I’m prepared,” “I can do this,” “Relax and breath.”

3. Be sure to read each item carefully and answer appropriately.

4. If your mind goes blank, put your pen/pencil down, sit up straight and take a few deep breaths.  If you don’t recognize the question, go to the next question.

5. Occasionally stretch so that your body stays relaxed.

6. Remind yourself that some anxiety is normal and that you know the material.

If you need additional support please set up a free phone consultation to discuss how counseling can be helpful.

A New Year: 10 Suggestions for Daily Self-Care

Eighty percent of New Year’s resolutions fail by February, according to U.S. News & World Report.  What a staggering number! I believe that one main reason that most people may not achieve their resolutions are due to unclear and unrealistic goals.  Perhaps we can learn from the 20% of people who do accomplish their realistic goals in taking better care of themselves.  

Ten suggestions for daily self-care:

1. Before getting out of bed in the morning, stretch a little and focus on some deep breathing as you focus on one thing you are grateful for in your life. 

2. When you pick up your phone in the morning, search inspirational quotes and read one before you leave your home.

3. Make sure to eat breakfast every morning.

4. Listen to some relaxing music on your way to school or work. 

5. Talk to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend.

6. Take a 20 walk in nature during lunch break or after work/school.

7. Pay attention to your feelings and name the feelings.  Remind yourself that feelings come and go like waves.

8. Take 10 minutes to journal about your thoughts and feelings in order to process what’s happening and let go of the things you have no control over.

9. Set realistic goals and time frames to complete your goals.  Be sure to include extra time for things that are out of our control (wifi problems, printing problems...)

10. Take time to decompress in the evening, ideally with no screens and think of  two things you are grateful for in your day.

Given our busy and stressful lives, I would recommend that a new year is a wonderful time to reflect on what worked, what didn’t work and what can we do differently.  Time for inner reflection helps us increase our self awareness and focus on what is in our control. I propose making self-care a daily practice. Once we make self care a priority in our life, we are better equipped to take care of our responsibilities, goals and dreams.

If you have any questions, please contact me to schedule a free initial consultation.

What Is ADHD? 3 Tips To Understanding an ADHD Evaluation

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is known as ADHD.  The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition (DSM-5) is a handbook used by healthcare professionals as a guide for mental health disorders.  According to the DSM-5, ADHD is a “persistent pattern of inattention and or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development.” A certain number of symptoms must be met in the areas of inattention and hyperactivity/impulsivity to be diagnosed with the disorder.  Some of the common symptoms include poor attention to detail, difficulty in daily tasks, fidgety, forgetful sustaining attention, easily distracted, restless and impulsive. A very helpful description of ADHD by Dr. William Benninger describes ADHD as a disorder of performance not skill; doing what you know, not knowing what to do; and it is the when and where not the how or what.  

Please note that completing an ADHD screener from a pediatrician is not sufficient to determine if your child meets the criteria for the complexities of the disorder.  In order to be properly diagnosed with ADHD, it is highly recommended that the child and parents participate in ADHD testing. The evaluation and testing is conducted by a psychologist. The testing can provide the parent with a much better understanding of your child’s academic strengths and weaknesses and how to provide the support that your child needs at school and at home.  

The first part of an ADHD evaluation will include a clinical interview with the parents and the child.  A comprehensive biopsychosocial assessment is suggested in order to understand various aspects of the child such as developmental history, sleep, medical conditions, family history of ADHD, social, behavioral and substance use.  

The second part of the ADHD evaluation is completing comprehensive questionnaires that are critical in measuring important factors to better understand the layers of symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity as well as other potential areas of concern.  One of those factors that are measured by these tests is named executive functioning. Important components of executive functioning include self control, self regulation, motivation and working memory. Another important factor to assess in the testing is called working memory also known as “mental workspace”.  Working memory helps facilitate the ability to control attention and resist distractions while completing a task that requires sustained effort. 

Furthermore, the questionnaires are administered to the child, parents and teachers.  It is very important to have multiple data points to determine if your child truly meets the criteria of ADHD.  The child is also provided with other questionnaires to rule out any other concerns such as anxiety and depression.  Once the questionnaires are completed, the psychologist will score the tests and provide the results in a written report.  The last appointment, a feedback session is when the psychologist provides the parents and the child with testing results and comprehensive recommendations.   

If you have any questions, please contact me to schedule a free initial consultation.

15 Self Care Ideas for Teens

As a teen, you have endless responsibilities and stressors on a daily basis.  Learning to navigate your various responsibilities such as school work, extra curricular activities and a job can be overwhelming if you don’t take care of yourself.  Remind yourself that you have 1440 minutes in a day and make self care a part of your daily routine. Try practicing 3 of the following ideas on a daily basis.

1. Set realistic goals for the day.

2. Practice deep breathing:  Inhale for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of  6. 

3. Go for a walk with a friend.

4. Make time to decompress without your phone before you get into bed (try stretching while focusing on what you accomplished today).

5.  Express your thoughts and feelings (talk to a friend, journal, do art).

6.  Exercise (go for a run, ride your bike, or do some calisthenics in your bedroom).

7.  Read a book for pleasure.

8.  LAUGH, and learn to laugh at yourself.

9.  Think of 3 things you’re grateful for every day (ideally start a gratitude journal).

10.  Listen to music.

11.  Spend time in nature (science shows that spending time outside is good for you).

12. Spend time with friends.

13.  Play with your pet or your friend’s pet.

14.  Practice meditation. (If new to meditation, search up a how to meditate 101)

15.  Be kind and patient with yourself.  

If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

Transform Your Stress: Try Quick Coherence Technique

Stress and Coherence

Stress impacts the body emotionally, physically and mentally.  What’s important to remember is that the situation does not create the stress, instead it is how we respond to it.  Emotions directly impact our body. Positive emotions like kindness, love and appreciation feel good and are good for us.  These positive feelings help the systems in our body work more effectively.

Research indicates that when we intentionally shift to a positive emotion, the heart rhythms also change.  This shift in heart rhythms creates a favorable impact on our entire body.

When we are feeling stressed, the body is out of sync.  Depleting feelings, like worry, anxiety and anger negatively impact our nervous system.  Renewing feelings, like kindness, care and appreciation create order. This order is termed coherence.  Coherence leads to self regulation, creativity, mental clarity and resiliency. 

How to Practice Coherence:

The Quick Coherence Technique

Step One:  Focus your attention in the area of the heart, the center of your chest.  Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual.

Suggestion:  Inhale for 5 seconds, exhale for 5 seconds (or whatever rhythm is comfortable for you)

Step Two:  Make a sincere attempt to experience a regenerative feeling such as appreciation or care for someone or something in your life. 

Suggestion:  Try to re-experience a regenerative feeling you have for someone you love or focus on a feeling of calm and ease.   

I recommend practicing the Quick Coherence Technique at least 3 times a day for a few minutes each time.  Ideally try practicing in the morning before you get out of bed, during lunch time and before going to sleep at night. Over time, I encourage you to practice the Quick Coherence Technique multiple times a day.  With practice, you may experience better sleep, mental clarity and more calm.

If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

Counseling For Anxiety: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is the anticipation of a future threat and one of the most distressing emotions that people feel. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18% of the population.  Anxiety disorders affect 1 in 8 children. Anxiety disorders are treatable and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is highly effective in treating various anxiety disorders.

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?

CBT is a theoretical orientation that focuses on how our thoughts, feelings and behaviors are influenced by one another.  CBT highlights that each person has a choice as to how to think and behave which directly increases his/her coping skills in dealing with daily life challenges.

A Cognitive Behavioral Profile of Anxiety:

Common Physical Reactions:  sweaty palms, muscle tension, racing heart, flushed cheeks, light headedness.

Anxious Thoughts/Cognitions:  overestimation of danger, underestimation of your ability to cope, worries and catastrophic thoughts, underestimation of help available.

Typical Anxiety Behaviors:  avoiding situations where anxiety might occur, leaving situations when anxiety begins to occur, trying to do things perfectly or trying to control events to prevent danger, shutting down, restlessness, fidgeting.

Anxious Moods/Feelings:  anxious, panicky, nervous, , worried, overwhelmed.

Coping Strategies for Anxiety Using a Cognitive Behavioral Approach:

Coping Strategies for Emotions/Feelings:

Some helpful anxiety coping strategies include the following:  identify the feelings, rate the feelings, learn to let go, daily journaling, and talking with a friend, family member or therapist.

Physical Coping Strategies:

Some of the most helpful physical anxiety coping strategies include diaphragmatic breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery/visualizations that focus on your senses, physical exercise, yoga and walking in nature.

Coping Strategies for Cognitions/Thoughts:

The following list includes helpful coping strategies for challenging our distorted anxious thoughts:  healthy distractions (counting, crossword puzzles), scheduled worry time, various cognitive exercises (thought records, cognitive restructuring, worst/best/realistic case scenario) and mindfulness.

Behavioral Coping Strategies:

Behavioral coping strategies to lessen anxiety include: exercise, yoga, meditation, acupuncture, massage, making time to socialize (friends, hobbies, sports), a healthy diet and a healthy sleep hygiene routine.

If you are looking for help with your anxiety, please contact me to schedule a free initial consultation.