The Power of Deep Breathing

According to the Stress in America 2020 survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA), Americans have been profoundly affected by the COVID-19 pandemic, and the multitude of factors Americans have listed in previous years as significant sources of stress remain present and problematic. Given the intensity and duration of these ongoing stressors especially the persistence of this pandemic, APA has issued a warning: We are facing a national mental health crisis that could yield serious health and social consequences for years to come.

Given the endless stressors in our lives especially in the middle of a pandemic, I want to suggest that we make deep breathing a daily practice. Deep breathing also known as diaphragmatic breathing is a practice that enables more air to flow in our body. With practice, deep breathing can help to calm our nerves which helps to reduce anxiety and stress. Most of us take breathing for granted since we typically don’t pay attention to our breathing. Learning to pay attention to how we’re breathing can make a positive impact on our stress levels.

Your autonomic nervous system, which controls involuntary actions like heart rate and digestion, is split into two parts. One part, the sympathetic nervous system (the red zone) controls your fight-or-flight response. The other part, the parasympathetic nervous system (the green zone) controls your rest and digest response. These two parts of your nervous system can’t be turned on at the same time, which means if you work to activate one, the other will be suppressed. As a result, when you pay attention to your breathing you realize that you can control your breathing and with practice, you can activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

Purposeful deep breathing can physically calm your body down. Breathing more deeply also allows for more carbon dioxide to enter your blood, which quiets down parts of the brain, like the amygdala, that handles your anxiety response. Per Dr. Rhoads, more carbon dioxide also helps synchronize your heartbeat and breathing. In addition, deep breathing is one of the best ways to lower stress in the body. When you breathe deeply, it sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax. The brain then sends this message to your body.

When you take a deep breath in, your heart rate quickens slightly. As you exhale, your heart rate slows down. Repeated deep breaths will naturally bring your heart rate more in sync with your breath. This leads your brain to release endorphins, which are chemicals that have a natural calming effect. Furthermore, deep breathing allows more oxygen to the brain which can improve cognitive function like problems solving.

Let’s review a few deep breathing exercises, including belly breathing and 4-4-8 breathing.

Belly Breathing:

Ideally practice this exercise a few times a day like before you get out of bed, during a short break at work or school, and during the evening. The more often you can practice this exercise, the more beneficial it becomes.

1. Sit or lie flat in a comfortable position.

2. Put one hand on your belly just below your ribs and the other hand on your chest.

3. Take a deep breath in through your nose, and let your belly push your hand out. Ideally, your chest should not move.

4. Breathe out through pursed lips as if you were whistling. Feel the hand on your belly go in, and use it to push all the air out.

5. Do this breathing 4 to 8 times and take your time with each breath.

6. Notice how your mind and body feel.

4-4-8 Breathing:

As mentioned above, ideally practice this exercise a few times a day such as before you get out of bed, during a short break at work or school, and during the evening. The more often you can practice this exercise, the more beneficial it becomes.

1. Put one hand on your belly and the other hand on your chest as in the belly breathing exercise.

2. Take a deep, slow breath from your belly, and silently count to 4 as you breathe in.

3. Hold your breath, and silently count from 1 to 4.

4. Breathe out completely as you silently count from 1 to 8. Try to get all the air out of your lungs by the time you count to 8.

5. Repeat 4 to 6 times or until you feel calm.

6. Notice how you feel at the end of the exercise.

Be kind and patient with yourself as you practice deep breathing. Most people tend to breathe from the chest so be patient. Recognize that you might not notice results immediately, and that’s OK. Be sure to give yourself credit for trying, and keep practicing even just for a few minutes at a time. Once you reach a point where you notice it’s helping, keep practicing until you make deep breathing a daily habit. Remember that you have to practice deep breathing on a regular basis in order for it to be helpful.

If you are needing help in making self-care a priority in your day-to-day life, please consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.

The Heart-Focused Breathing Technique

HeartMath has developed a research-based system of scientifically validated techniques, tools and technology to increase emotional and mental self-regulation. The tools can help us gain greater self-regulation and a new perspective.  Most of the HeartMath techniques include an intentional shift to a positive emotional state to help gain coherence.  The Heart-Focused Breathing Technique is a powerful tool to practice and gain an ability to neutralize emotions such as anxiety, and anger.   

The Heart-Focused Breathing Technique is an easy to use, energy saving self-regulation strategy.  It is designed to reduce the intensity of a stress reaction and to establish a calm, but alert state. The technique allows you to take a time-out where you can step back and neutralize your depleting emotions. We can benefit from conscious breathing, if we use it to help us shift into and sustain a more balanced state.  Breathing is only the start of what is known as a coherence building process.  

In addition, the Heart-Focused Breathing helps reduce the impact of stress on your mind and body.  It helps us reduce the energy drain in order to feel a bit more renewed.  By going to a neutral state, it helps us to detach from our emotionally charged feelings and racing mind. By practicing this technique, it gives us an opportunity to pause our thoughts and feelings long enough to consider the possible options and consequences.  

Step :

Focus your attention on the area of your heart.  Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area.  Breathe a little deeper and slower than usual.

Try and inhale for a count of 5, and exhale for a count of 5.  

Once you have become familiar with this step, all you need to remember is the quick step to neutralize stress.  

Suggestions for when to practice the Heart-Focused Breathing Technique:

1. Stop the impact of stress on your body.

2. Help neutralize emotional reactions in the moment.

3. Eliminate the energy drain.

4. Remove the drama or significance of a situation.

For more information on HeartMath or anxiety management, please call me at 858-243-2684.

Source:  Transforming Anxiety by Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman.

The Power of Mindful Moments

We often hear the word mindfulness but what does it really mean?  As psychologist Dr. Tara Brach once said, “Mindfulness is a way of paying attention moment-to-moment to what's happening within and around us without judgment. So, said differently, when we attend to the moment-to-moment flow of experience, and recognize what's happening…fully allowing it, not adding judgment or commentary, then we are cultivating a mindful awareness.”  

Numerous studies link mindfulness to better health, lower anxiety, and greater resilience to stress. When we’re mindful, we gain insight, reduce stress, enhance performance, and increase awareness by observing our own mind.  

One way to begin practicing mindfulness is recognizing that it is a wonderful way to focus on our self care.  Mindful moments can provide a much needed respite during the current stressful and unprecedented times.  Self care is critical to our mental and physical well being. 

Suggestions for mindful moments:

1. Close your eyes for a few minutes and pay attention to your breath.  Focus on inhaling for a count of 5 and exhaling for a count of 5.

2.  Before getting out of bed in the morning, think of 3 things you are grateful for and focus on your breathing.

3.  Practice 4-4-8 breathing.  Inhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of 8.  The deep exhalation helps to access the parasympathetic nervous system known as the rest and digest system.

4. When sitting at work, stand up and practice stretching for a few minutes.  Practice doing forward and backward shoulder rolls, stretch your arms above your head and then try and touch your toes.

5. During lunch, go outside and walk for a few minutes and take a look up at the sky and/or smell a flower.

6.  Take a few minutes to close your eyes and visualize a safe relaxing place while focusing on your senses.  What do you see, hear, smell, taste and touch? Allow yourself to be in the moment at your favorite relaxing space.   

My hope for you is that you make self care a priority in your life. It is also a great way to teach our kids effective ways of navigating daily stressors. Once you practice simple self care strategies, you'll likely recognize the many benefits for your mental and physical well being.

5 Ways to Stop Thinking You're Not Good Enough

We live in a culture of comparison and competition which can be fierce. Social media floods us with the belief of not being enough: not pretty enough, not good looking enough, not smart enough and so on.  Our teens’ lives are super focused on competition like getting the best grades, being involved with endless extra curriculars, taking as many AP classes in order to get into the best colleges.  No wonder our society has the highest rates of anxiety and depression for kids and adolescents.  

As the saying goes, we are our worst enemies.  This culture of comparison and competition only fuels anxiety, anger, depression and shame.  It magnifies self defeating thoughts and behaviors.  We need to decide enough is enough.  It’s time for a paradigm shift.  Let us make self care a priority so we can practice taking better care of ourselves and our kids.  

Let’s take a look at 5 strategies that can help us stop thinking “I’m not enough” and learn to acknowledge and focus on our personal strengths.

1.  Practice daily self care.  Make time everyday to get enough sleep, eat healthy balanced meals and get exercise.  Learn to make time for joy, laughter and play.  Begin a gratitude journal first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed. Start small and list 3 things you are grateful for during that day.  Research shows that gratitude is good for our minds, bodies and relationships.

2. Practice challenging your negative, self defeating thoughts. Recognize that you have control over your thoughts.  Cognitive distortions are irrational thoughts that are false, inaccurate and can cause psychological damage.  Common cognitive distortions are all or none thinking, emotional reasoning, personalization, jumping to conclusions and should statements.  With daily practice, you can learn to pay attention to your thoughts, challenge your distorted thinking and learn to think more rationally and balanced.  

3. Learn to talk back to your inner critic.  The inner critic usually is the voice that judges you, belittles you, doubts you and tells you you are not enough.  Usually the inner critic thinks it’s protecting you but it actually robs you of emotional well being and peace of mind.  Start an inner critic log and notice the content of the self criticism.  Learn how to talk back to your inner critic with acceptance and compassion.  An example might be  “I hear you loud and clear, but I'm also going to consider other ways of thinking about this situation."   

4. Learn to focus on your needs and wants.  Someone who feels “not good enough” is usually focused on who they think they’re supposed to be.  If you don’t feel good enough, you may not value yourself enough to see your wants as important.  Give yourself permission to focus on what you need and want for the day.  With practice, you can learn how to ask for what you want and need in your relationships. 

5. Practice being in the present moment.  We tend to focus on the past which fuels guilt and shame or focus on the future which fuels anxiety.  Learn to be present in the here and now.  Practice deep diaphragmatic breaths which help calm the mind and body.  Being in the present moment reminds us that we are ok right here and now.  It helps us to be responsive, not reactive.  Being present allows us to be better engaged in our relationships.  

If you want additional support, please contact me for a free 15 minute phone consultation.  Call me at 858-243-2684.

The Power of Self Care During Uncertain Times

During this COVID-19 health crisis it is normal to feel stressed and anxious.  Every day we hear about more problems and concerns that are impacting everyone everywhere.  Our daily lives have been disrupted by being in quarantine and we are navigating uncharted territory.  

In order to find some order in our lives we really need to focus on creating a daily schedule that allows us to take better care of ourselves given the multiple responsibilities with family and work.  I think one of the greatest gifts we can offer ourselves is self care.

Suggestions for daily self care:

• Focus on what is in our control every single moment of the day which is how we choose to think and behave.  It helps remind us that in the moment we are ok and we do have control of our thoughts and behaviors.

• Take 5 minute breaks a few times a day to practice diaphragmatic breathing.  It allows us to focus on a deep inhalation through the nose and a deep exhalation through the mouth. Deep breathing calms our mind and body and helps us to be in the moment.

• Make sleep a daily priority by trying to go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time, if possible.  Prior to going to sleep, spend some time doing something relaxing that does not involve a screen. 

• Before you get out of bed in the morning practice a short guided meditation via YouTube or a free app like My Life or Calm.  

• Take 10 minute breaks a few times a day to stretch, walk around and do shoulder rolls, especially if you are sitting on your computer for extended periods of time.  

• Given the stressful circumstances, please practice more self compassion and patience with yourself and others.

• Be mindful of what you are choosing to eat and focus on adding more color to your diet. Also be sure to drink plenty of water. 

• Make time for joy and laughter during the day and learn to laugh at yourself.

• Limit the amount of time reading the news to the morning or afternoon since too much focus on the COVID-19 health crisis can fuel more worries and anxiety.

• Make time to exercise ideally outside if possible.  Being in nature helps us feel better emotionally and it can help reduce blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension, and the production of stress hormones.

• Given current quarantine restrictions and physical distancing, take time to connect with family and friends virtually on a regular basis to limit the feelings of isolation.

• Limit the amount of time on a screen (phones, Ipads, laptops,...) and instead listen to music, play cards, board games or do a puzzle.

If you are struggling with self care, consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how counseling can be helpful.

 

A New Year: 10 Suggestions for Daily Self-Care

Eighty percent of New Year’s resolutions fail by February, according to U.S. News & World Report.  What a staggering number! I believe that one main reason that most people may not achieve their resolutions are due to unclear and unrealistic goals.  Perhaps we can learn from the 20% of people who do accomplish their realistic goals in taking better care of themselves.  

Ten suggestions for daily self-care:

1. Before getting out of bed in the morning, stretch a little and focus on some deep breathing as you focus on one thing you are grateful for in your life. 

2. When you pick up your phone in the morning, search inspirational quotes and read one before you leave your home.

3. Make sure to eat breakfast every morning.

4. Listen to some relaxing music on your way to school or work. 

5. Talk to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend.

6. Take a 20 walk in nature during lunch break or after work/school.

7. Pay attention to your feelings and name the feelings.  Remind yourself that feelings come and go like waves.

8. Take 10 minutes to journal about your thoughts and feelings in order to process what’s happening and let go of the things you have no control over.

9. Set realistic goals and time frames to complete your goals.  Be sure to include extra time for things that are out of our control (wifi problems, printing problems...)

10. Take time to decompress in the evening, ideally with no screens and think of  two things you are grateful for in your day.

Given our busy and stressful lives, I would recommend that a new year is a wonderful time to reflect on what worked, what didn’t work and what can we do differently.  Time for inner reflection helps us increase our self awareness and focus on what is in our control. I propose making self-care a daily practice. Once we make self care a priority in our life, we are better equipped to take care of our responsibilities, goals and dreams.

If you have any questions, please contact me to schedule a free initial consultation.

Using Mindfulness: How to Practice Mindful Breathing

You’ve probably heard the term “mindfulness” before but may not know exactly what it means or, more importantly, how to implement mindfulness practices in your everyday life.

Mindfulness is the ability to pay careful attention to what you’re thinking, feeling, and sensing in the present moment without judging those thoughts and feelings as good or bad.  

Countless studies link mindfulness to better health, lower anxiety, and greater resilience to stress. So it is worth creating time in your schedule to take a few mindful minutes a couple of times a day to help bring you back to the here and now.

Mindful Breathing

One aspect of mindfulness that is easy to learn and practice right away is mindful breathing.

The most basic way to do mindful breathing is simply to focus your attention on your breath, then inhale and exhale.

Here are some quick tips on setting yourself up for success with your mindful breathing:

• Ideally you want to be sitting, or even lying in a comfortable position.

• It is best to close your eyes, since it usually helps to maintain your focus.

• It is helpful if you can set aside certain times during the day for this exercise.

Now that you are comfortable and able to focus on the task, here are the steps for practicing mindful breathing:

1. Start by taking some exaggerated breaths: A deep inhale through your nostrils (3 seconds), hold your breath (2 seconds), and a long exhale through your mouth (4 seconds). Try and focus on the rise and fall of your belly.

   Quick Tips if This Is Your First Time Practicing Mindfulness:

   It’s very common that your mind will wander as it is distracted by thoughts about the past or the future. That’s ok!

   Just notice that this is happening and gently bring your attention back to your breath. When your mind wanders, you can say “thinking” or “wandering” in your head softly. Just gently redirect your attention right back to the breath.

   Notice and try to relax your body. Focus on your senses while you are breathing. Tune into your breath and notice where the breath is in your body. See if you can feel the sensation of breath, one breath at a time.

2. Stay in your comfortable position, breathing for five to seven minutes. Notice your breath, in silence. From time to time, you’ll get lost in thought so return to your breath.

3. After a your 5-7 minutes is up, once again notice your body seated here. Let yourself relax a little more deeply. Appreciate yourself for doing this practice today.

The more you practice mindful breathing, the more it helps, especially during difficult situations. Start today and try it out each day this week.

If you are still struggling to focus and relax after consistently trying a mindfulness strategy, consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss whether or not counseling may be helpful.