11 Easy Ways to Make Self-Care a Priority

The Importance of Self-Care

Given today’s busy and hectic schedules, we really need to make self care a priority.  With work, caring for kids, taking our kids to their after school activities and the endless other responsibilities, life can become overwhelming.

For us busy moms who have a tendency to put our kid’s needs first, taking time for self-care may bring up feelings of guilt.  

However, we must learn to sit with these feelings and realize that we are not at our best when we are exhausted.

“Taking good care of yourself means that people in your life receive the best of you rather than what is left of you.”

— Lucille Zimmerman

Here are some simple things you can do every day to make self-care a priority:

1. Before you get out of bed, practice some deep breathing exercises while stretching.

2. Make a little time to go outside and be in nature.

3. Call a friend.

4. Make time to exercise and be realistic with your time.  If you cannot go to the gym, try doing some exercise at home like doing push-ups, walking up and down the stairs, doing some yoga poses and stretches or going for a walk.

5. Take 5 minute breaks throughout the day and practice mindful breathing.  You can repeat a word like “breath” to quiet your mind while breathing.

6. Eat healthy snacks throughout the day and drink plenty of water.

7. Journal for 10 minutes a day, ideally in the morning or afternoon so that you don’t avoid or repress feelings.

8. Meditate once a day for 10 minutes.

9. Have realistic expectations of yourself.

10. Spend quality time with your loved ones with an emphasis of just being together, rather than an emphasis on what needs to get done.

11. Make time to decompress at night, ideally alone, to help your mind and body prepare for sleep.

Ironically, it can initially be stressful to figure out a self-care routine but just take things one step at a time. Pick one strategy to start, whichever one sounds like the easiest for you to implement immediately.

Lastly, another great self-care technique is psychotherapy! If you need a place where someone else is in charge of providing the environment for you to decompress, please contact me today to get started.

How Exercise Benefits Your Mental Health

Exercise is so important for our body, mind and spirit.  In other words, exercise has many benefits, and this includes making a positive impact on our mental health.

Research shows that the link between exercise and mood is pretty strong.  Some research even shows that you receive a mood enhancement within five minutes of moderate exercise.

Physical exercise is also shown to alleviate long-term depression.

Another study suggests that people who are highly sensitive to anxiety showed significant improvements in anxiety sensitivity after exercise.

It is definitely important to make exercise a priority in your life, but even more so if you struggle with common mental health problems like depression or anxiety.

The Benefits of Exercise on Mental Health:

1. Exercise can help boost your self-esteem, especially the feeling of accomplishment.

2. Taking a fitness class or going to a gym surrounds you with other people who are also trying to improve their health and an opportunity to meet like minded people.

3. Physical exercise can help with mild to moderate anxiety and depression.

4. Time spent exercising can help you unplug from the busyness of life and in turn, can help you feel better.

5. Regular exercise can enhance your quality of sleep, which can help you feel more energized and focused during the day.

6. Performing different types of physical activity can actually change how your brain is wired, which can help to improve your mental acuity and overall cognition.

7. Physical exercise can help you feel better and have a better outlook on life.

Exercise can be done anywhere, not just in a gym. So be creative with your time at home or in your neighborhood and make it a priority.

Remember that you can start out slowly, especially if it has been a long time since you had a regular exercise routine. Evaluate your schedule and identify a time of day that you can commit to exercising, even if it is just for 10-15 minutes.

Make your exercise practice one that is enjoyable and easy to follow. You will see the improvements impacting every area of your life, including your mental health.

If you’re looking for support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

How to Help Your Child Become Self-Confident

Imagine our children being self-confident. Imagine them being children who trust their own judgment, abilities and qualities.

Dr. Albert Bandura, famous child psychologist, describes self-confidence as “self-efficacy” and he believes that it can have an impact on a person’s motivation, actions and mood.

What Does Self-Confidence Do For Children?

Using the description above you can see how self-confidence boosts school performance in children, which helps instill a ‘try again’ mentality. It fuels optimism, which helps create hopefulness. Self-confidence increases a child’s belief that they can achieve their goals.

According to Dr. Bandura, the path to self-efficacy includes social modeling, positive reinforcement, mastery experiences and positive attitude.

That means that you can play a significant role in boosting your child’s self-confidence.

How to build healthy self-confidence in your child:

1. Social modeling is acting how you want your children to act.

This is a powerful force in shaping children’s identities.  Be a good role model for your children by practicing self-confidence in your own abilities, as well as your child’s abilities.

Tell your child personal stories of how you got through difficult times. In addition, share life stories of well known people who failed many times and kept trying.

2.  Positive reinforcement are words of encouragement from people you trust or admire.

Provide your child with the right message that they can rise to the occasion, they have the skills to succeed and they can manage a tough situation. Another example is to encourage your child’s plan or dreams.

More importantly, praise your child based on effort, not outcome, when they are willing to try something new or attempt a difficult task.

3.  Mastery experience refers to performing a task successfully and attributing the success to effort.

Teach your child the value of hard work and practice. Encourage your child to become really good at something (a sport, hobby, game, or any enjoyable task) and help them find this by identifying their strengths.

Maintain high and realistic expectations for your child. Furthermore, extend trust to your children by giving them a chore or responsibility within reason, based on their age and skill level.

4.  Positive attitude is a cornerstone of confidence.

Research shows that a good mood actually builds perceptions of self-confidence. Positivity also helps your child see more options when faced with a problem.

In addition, a positive attitude gives children the belief that they will cope and triumph, even when circumstances are difficult.

One of the most important things you can do for your child at any age is to build their self-confidence.

It may take practice because through these tasks we often realize our own insecurities. However, your child will benefit from your efforts for the rest of their life.

If you’re looking for support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

Using Mindfulness: How to Practice Mindful Breathing

You’ve probably heard the term “mindfulness” before but may not know exactly what it means or, more importantly, how to implement mindfulness practices in your everyday life.

Mindfulness is the ability to pay careful attention to what you’re thinking, feeling, and sensing in the present moment without judging those thoughts and feelings as good or bad.  

Countless studies link mindfulness to better health, lower anxiety, and greater resilience to stress. So it is worth creating time in your schedule to take a few mindful minutes a couple of times a day to help bring you back to the here and now.

Mindful Breathing

One aspect of mindfulness that is easy to learn and practice right away is mindful breathing.

The most basic way to do mindful breathing is simply to focus your attention on your breath, then inhale and exhale.

Here are some quick tips on setting yourself up for success with your mindful breathing:

• Ideally you want to be sitting, or even lying in a comfortable position.

• It is best to close your eyes, since it usually helps to maintain your focus.

• It is helpful if you can set aside certain times during the day for this exercise.

Now that you are comfortable and able to focus on the task, here are the steps for practicing mindful breathing:

1. Start by taking some exaggerated breaths: A deep inhale through your nostrils (3 seconds), hold your breath (2 seconds), and a long exhale through your mouth (4 seconds). Try and focus on the rise and fall of your belly.

   Quick Tips if This Is Your First Time Practicing Mindfulness:

   It’s very common that your mind will wander as it is distracted by thoughts about the past or the future. That’s ok!

   Just notice that this is happening and gently bring your attention back to your breath. When your mind wanders, you can say “thinking” or “wandering” in your head softly. Just gently redirect your attention right back to the breath.

   Notice and try to relax your body. Focus on your senses while you are breathing. Tune into your breath and notice where the breath is in your body. See if you can feel the sensation of breath, one breath at a time.

2. Stay in your comfortable position, breathing for five to seven minutes. Notice your breath, in silence. From time to time, you’ll get lost in thought so return to your breath.

3. After a your 5-7 minutes is up, once again notice your body seated here. Let yourself relax a little more deeply. Appreciate yourself for doing this practice today.

The more you practice mindful breathing, the more it helps, especially during difficult situations. Start today and try it out each day this week.

If you are still struggling to focus and relax after consistently trying a mindfulness strategy, consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss whether or not counseling may be helpful.