6 Mental Health Benefits of Exercise

Most of us know the many physical benefits of exercise like increased energy, weight control, lower blood pressure, and reduced risk of diabetes. But what about the psychological benefits of exercise? Did you know that exercise can help lessen symptoms of depression and anxiety and keep your memory sharp? Let’s explore six mental health benefits of exercise.

6 Mental Health Benefits of Exercise

1. Exercise and Depression

   Studies show that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication but without any side effects. For example, a study by Harvard’s School of Public Health found that walking for an hour or running for 15 minutes a day reduces the risk of major depression by 26%. In addition to relieving symptoms of depression, research also shows that maintaining an exercise schedule can prevent you from relapsing. Some researchers suspect exercise alleviates chronic depression by increasing serotonin, the neurotransmitter targeted by antidepressants. Furthermore, exercise promotes all kinds of changes in the brain, like reduced inflammation, neural growth, and new activity patterns that promote feelings of well-being and calm. Additionally, exercise helps with good blood flow, improves circulation, and stimulates the growth of new blood vessels in the brain. In addition, physical exercise releases endorphins, powerful chemicals in your brain that energize your spirits and make you feel good. Finally, exercise can also serve as a distraction, since it provides some quiet time to break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that feed depression.

2. Exercise and Anxiety

   Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment. It relieves stress and tension, boosts mental and physical energy, and enhances well-being by releasing endorphins, peptides produced in the brain that block the perception of pain and increase feelings of well-being. Furthermore, moving your body decreases muscle tension, lowering the body’s contribution to feeling anxious. In addition, exercise activates frontal regions of the brain that are responsible for executive function, and therefore helps control the amygdala, our reacting system to real or imagined threats to our survival.

   One possibility is that exercise buffs up the brain and the body. Physical exercise triggers the release of a protein known as brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). BDNF encourages the growth of new brain cells, possibly, in the hippocampus, a brain region important in learning and memory. Since the hippocampus tends to be smaller or distorted in people with anxiety and depression, boosting BDNF through exercise might be a way physical activity might help manage these conditions.

3. Decreased Stress
   Another mental benefit of exercise is reduced stress levels, something that can make everyone happier. Increasing your heart rate can reverse stress-induced brain damage by stimulating the production of neurohormones like norepinephrine, which improves cognition and mood and clouded thinking by stressful events. In addition, exercise forces the body’s central and sympathetic nervous systems to communicate with one another, improving the body’s overall ability to respond to stress.

   Think about how your body feels when you're stressed. Your muscles may be tense, especially in your neck and shoulders, leaving you with back or neck pain, or painful headaches. You may feel a tightness in your chest, a pounding pulse, or muscle cramps. You might also experience problems such as stomachache, insomnia, heartburn, diarrhea, or frequent urination. The worry and discomfort of all these physical symptoms can lead to even more stress, creating a vicious cycle between your mind and body.

   Exercising is an effective way to break this cycle. As well as releasing endorphins in the brain, physical activity helps to relax the muscles and relieve tension in the body. Since the body and mind are so closely linked, when your body feels better so will your mind.

4. Increased Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence
   From improving endurance to losing weight and increasing muscle tone, there’s no shortage of physical achievements due to regular exercise. All those achievements can add up to boosting your self-esteem, as well as the confidence that comes with it. You may not set out for a slimmer physique or the ability to climb a hill without getting winded. Oftentimes it happens before you even realize it. It’s just one of the many benefits of physical activity that boost your body, mind, and spirit.

   Regular exercise is an investment in your mind, body, and soul. When exercise becomes a habit, it can foster your sense of self-worth and make you feel strong and powerful. You’ll feel better about your appearance and, by meeting even small exercise goals, you’ll feel a sense of achievement.

   Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves and how we perceive our self-worth. It is a key indicator of our mental well-being and our ability to cope with life stressors. Physical activity has been shown to influence our self-worth and self-esteem positively. This relationship has been found in children, adolescents, young adults, adults, and older people, and among both males and females.

5. Better sleep
   Studies have found that proper exercise can alleviate sleep-related problems and help you get an adequate amount of rest. If you have trouble getting a good night’s sleep, exercise can help with that, too. Physical activity increases body temperature, which can have calming effects on the mind. Exercise also helps regulate your circadian rhythm, our body’s built-in alarm clock that controls when we feel tired and when we feel alert. Please note that sleep experts recommend not exercising close to bedtime.

   Moderate aerobic exercise increases the amount of slow-wave sleep you get. Slow-wave sleep refers to deep sleep, where the brain and body have a chance to rejuvenate. In addition, moderate to vigorous exercise can increase sleep quality for adults by reducing sleep onset, and the time it takes to fall asleep, and decreasing the amount of time they lie awake in bed during the night. Additionally, physical activity can help alleviate daytime sleepiness. Exercise can also help to stabilize your mood and decompress the mind.

6. Brain Boost
   From building intelligence to strengthening memory, exercise boosts brainpower in many ways. Studies on mice and humans indicate that cardiovascular exercise creates new brain cells, a process called neurogenesis, and improves overall brain performance. Exercise also prevents cognitive decline and memory loss by strengthening the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for memory and learning. In addition, studies prove that physical activity boosts creativity and mental energy. So if you need inspiration, your big idea could be just a walk or jog away.

   Exercise offers short-term boosts in cognition. Studies show that immediately after a bout of physical activity, people perform better on tests of executive functions and working memory. This might be in part because movement increases the release of neurotransmitters in the brain, most notably epinephrine and norepinephrine.

   The brain benefits start to emerge, though, when people work out consistently over time. Studies show that people who work out several times a week have on average higher cognitive test scores, than people who are more sedentary. Other research has found that a person’s cognition tends to improve after participating in a new aerobic exercise program for several months.

   Overall, there are many important mental health benefits of exercise. I hope you learned something new in this blog that helps motivate you to make time for exercise and wellness. Permit yourself to prioritize time to exercise. Learn to focus on your schedule and be sure to make time for wellness. You can walk during your lunch break, find some YouTube exercise videos that you’ll do after work or classes, go biking or hiking on the weekends, or join a gym. As exercise becomes a habit in your life, you’ll reap the benefits of exercise.

   If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

6 Benefits of Keeping a Gratitude Journal

One of the most helpful definitions of gratitude in the dictionary is “when you feel thankful for the good things in your life.” Numerous studies demonstrate how gratitude journaling can increase one’s happiness. Each study shares insights into how a person can improve their well-being and overall health. Dr. Robert Emmons believes that gratitude helps people realize that they wouldn’t be where they are without the help of others. His research indicates that practicing gratitude magnifies positive feelings more than it reduces negative feelings. In addition, Dr. Emmons's research suggests that gratitude helps you see the bigger picture and become more resilient in the face of adversity.

The Benefits of Gratitude Journaling.

1. Having a gratitude journal gives you something to boost yourself up, especially on days when life feels hard or when nothing is going your way. It becomes a helpful tool in focusing on something good. Research shows that gratitude journaling demonstrates substantial improvements in optimism. Writing down what you are thankful for, can make you more optimistic because you are choosing to see more of the positivity in your life, giving less power to negative emotions.

2. Showing gratitude and writing it down encourages you to focus on what you have in your life, rather than what is missing. This results in a release of serotonin and dopamine, the neurotransmitters that are responsible for making us feel good. It helps you to be more present and mindful as you begin to see the small joys in your everyday life.

3. Keeping a journal is a very personal activity and allows you to be present with your achievements. Expressing gratitude has been proven to reduce social comparisons. In addition, you are less likely to be resentful towards others.

4. Studies show a positive correlation between gratitude, sleep quality, and sleep duration. The practice of gratitude journaling is calming which helps to ease the mind and proves especially beneficial leading up to bedtime. Spending just 15 minutes before bed writing down a few grateful sentiments can help you have a much better night’s sleep.

5. Taking time to stop what you are doing and write in a gratitude journal helps reduce stress. More specifically, gratitude can help calm the nervous system. It helps reduce blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing to help with overall relaxation. 

6. Writing in your gratitude journal in the morning puts you in a positive frame of mind and makes you better able to deal with the ups and downs of your day. If something goes wrong, you can cope much better because you are mindful of what is right in your life.

Keeping a gratitude journal can be a simple practice. Just commit to yourself to write down the things you are grateful for the day. You can decide how long your list is each day and how much detail you want to write. Best of all, gratitude journaling is an easy habit to form. Happy writing!

If you’re looking for mental health support, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

The Problems with Perfectionism

I work with many clients who struggle with perfectionism and thought it would be helpful to write about perfectionism. I will be referring to Brene Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection. It’s a great book that I highly recommend. Brene Brown defines perfectionism as “the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It's a shield. It's a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from flight."

Brene Brown recognizes that “perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best.” Perfectionism is about trying to earn approval and acceptance, not self-improvement. As Brene states, “most perfectionists were raised being praised for achievement and performance” like grades, appearance, sports, and people-pleasing. Perfectionism is other-focused (what will they think?) while healthy striving is self-focused (how can I improve?) Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. Perfectionism has been found to increase the risk of anxiety disorders, depression, and eating disorders.

Brene believes that perfectionism is a “self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of blame, judgment, and shame.” What really happens is that the person will actually experience those painful feelings that tend to lead to thoughts of not being good enough.

Furthermore Brene Brown states “Perfectionism is an unattainable goal. It’s more about perception than internal motivation, and there is no way to control perception, no matter how much time and energy is spent trying.” Perfectionism leads to a vicious cycle of wanting others to think highly of you but instead, you tend to feel disappointed and upset with yourself.

Brene acknowledges that “perfectionism is addictive because when we invariably do experience shame, judgment, and blame, we often believe it’s because we weren’t perfect enough. Rather than questioning the faulty logic of perfectionism, we become even more entrenched in our quest to look and do everything just right.” Perfectionism tends to be an exhausting cycle of trying to impress others while making yourself feel horrible in the process.

If you’re seeking to be perfect, you’ll ultimately demotivate yourself. Having ideals that are unattainable, you’ll never feel like you’re good enough and instead, you’ll miss out on rewards of accomplishment.

Another drawback of perfectionism is the way it distances you from others. People may not want to work with you because of your impossibly high expectations and they know they won’t measure up. In addition, if you fall into the trap of believing you’re close to perfect, you also run the risk of intimidating others.

Furthermore, perfectionism can be a barrier to your academic or professional growth because it reduces your ability to do brilliant work. If you’re unable to move ahead or can’t get anything done, you’ll limit your ability to contribute to a project. Furthermore, if you can’t admit mistakes, you won’t be able to learn from the mistakes or understand what went wrong in order to improve.

As Brene Brown’s research indicates, to overcome perfectionism, we need to be able to acknowledge our vulnerabilities to the universal experiences of blame, judgment, and shame. We’ve got to practice self-compassion and develop shame resilience in order to embrace our imperfections. Through the process of embracing our imperfections, we find our truest gifts: compassion, courage, and connection.

If you’re looking for help with your perfectionism, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

What's the Difference Between Sadness and Depression?

In everyday conversations, sadness and depression are often used interchangeably, but it's crucial to recognize that they represent distinct emotional states. Although they share similarities, comprehending the difference between sadness and depression is essential for both individuals experiencing these emotions and those seeking to support them.

Sadness is a natural human emotion. Sadness is usually triggered by a difficult, challenging, or disappointing experience. It’s typically a reaction to life events. Some examples of life events that can lead to sadness include you lost your job, you lost a loved one in your life, or you’re going through a breakup. Typically, these feelings of sadness come and go. The sadness may lead you to isolate yourself or stay at home for a few days, but it will likely dissipate over time.  When you’ve gotten over the loss or disappointment, your sadness ends.

Depression is an abnormal emotional state. It’s a mental illness that affects our thinking, emotions, behaviors, and perceptions in chronic ways. When someone is depressed, that person will feel sad about everything. Depression does not necessarily require a difficult loss or change in circumstance as a trigger. More importantly, depression often occurs in the absence of any such triggers.

Depression impacts all aspects of your life. It makes your life less interesting, less important, less enjoyable, and less worthwhile. Depression negatively impacts your motivation, your energy, and your ability to experience pleasure, excitement, joy, satisfaction, and meaning. Depression tends to make you more frustrated, more impatient, and quicker to react. In addition, it also takes you longer to bounce back from most things.

To better understand the symptoms of depression, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of Mental Disorders, the DSM-5 outlines the criteria for a diagnosis of major depressive disorder.

Five or more of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning; at least one of the symptoms is either depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure.

1. A depressed mood nearly all of the time.

2. Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all activities most of the time.

3. Significant changes in weight or appetite nearly every day.

4. Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day.

5. Feeling slowed down in your movements or restless nearly every day.

6. Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.

7. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt nearly every day.

8. Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness nearly every day.

9. Reoccurring thoughts of death or suicide.

If you or someone you care about is experiencing symptoms of depression, it's crucial to seek help from a qualified mental health professional for a proper diagnosis and treatment. Depression is a prevalent mental illness and can be managed effectively with psychotherapy and for some people medication and psychotherapy.

If you’re looking for help with your depression, please contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

6 Benefits of a Good Night's Sleep

We always hear that it’s important to get a good night’s sleep. But do we really understand the importance of sleep? Let’s discuss some of the many benefits of quality sleep.

1. Memory

Sleep plays an important role in a process called memory consolidation. During sleep, your body is resting, but your brain is busy processing your day, making connections between events, feelings, sensory input, and memories. Deep sleep is a very important time for your brain to make memories and links, and getting more quality sleep will help you remember and process things better.

During the Rapid Eye Movement (REM) stage of sleep, your newly consolidated memories become interconnected with your prior memories, including those of your life as well as your library of knowledge and facts. This connection between your recent memories, prior memories, and knowledge is one reason that you may wake up with a new and valuable perspective on a problem.

2. Healthier Heart

Quality sleep promotes cardiac health. During sleep, the heart rate slows down, and blood pressure decreases. This means that during sleep, the heart and vascular system are able to rest.

Research shows that people who don’t get enough sleep are more likely to develop high blood pressure, which increases the risk of developing heart disease. Also, poor sleep promotes inflammation and chronic inflammation eventually leads to heart disease. Furthermore, recent research indicates that the heart likes consistent sleep. In a study that followed older adults for five years, those with the most irregular sleep schedules were nearly twice as likely to develop heart disease compared to adults with more regular sleep patterns. 

It’s not known why going off a regular sleep schedule (with consistent bed and wake times) affects the heart, but sleep inconsistency may disturb the body’s circadian rhythms. Blood pressure, heart rate, and other cardiovascular functions vary with the time of day and may become disrupted by inconsistent sleep.

3. Stress Reduction

When you’re sleep deprived, your body releases stress hormones. Sleep is a powerful stress reducer. Following a regular sleep routine calms and restores the body, regulates mood, improves concentration, and sharpens judgment and decision-making. When you’re well rested, you are a better problem solver and are better able to cope with stress.

Getting more rest can significantly decrease cortisol levels and restore balance to the body’s systems. For adults, the recommendation is to try to get between seven to nine hours of sleep a night to avoid the rise in hormone levels and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.

4. Reduces Anxiety

Anxiety is frequently connected to sleeping problems. Excess worry and fear make it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night. Sleep deprivation can worsen anxiety. Researchers have found that losing too much sleep can activate a region of the brain that controls emotional processing and worry. Poor sleep can overwork the heart and cause serious stress, negatively affecting your mental health and how you handle social situations. 

Adequate sleep has been proven to drastically reduce feelings of anxiety by improving your ability to process stress and react in an appropriate way. Specifically, a good night’s sleep can improve your mood and temperament. In addition, creating healthy sleep habits can make going to bed a more pleasant experience and facilitate a consistent routine to enhance sleep.

5. Boosts Immune System

The immune system is critical to overall health. It is fundamental to healing wounds, warding off infections, and protecting against chronic and life-threatening illnesses. When your body gets the proper sleep it needs, your immune cells and proteins get the rest they need to fight off illnesses like colds or the flu. Research also indicates that proper sleep can make vaccines more effective.

Sleep provides essential support to the immune system. Getting sufficient hours of high-quality sleep enables a well-balanced immune defense that features strong innate and adaptive immunity, and less severe allergic reactions.

Furthermore, during sleep, the body produces growth hormones necessary for development in children and adolescents. These growth hormones also repair tissues and cells in people of all ages. The body also produces cytokines during sleep, which support the immune system in fighting infections.

6. Decreases Weight Gain

Research indicates that a lack of sleep is linked to poorer food choices, increased hunger and calorie intake, decreased physical activity, and ultimately weight gain. Getting enough sleep may help prevent increases in calorie intake and appetite. Sufficient sleep helps you avoid decreases in metabolism that can happen when you haven’t gotten enough sleep.

Science shows that when you're well-rested, you're less hungry. Good quality sleep doesn’t mess with the hormones leptin and ghrelin that control appetite. More specifically, during sleep, the body naturally produces more of an appetite suppressor, called leptin, while reducing the production of the appetite stimulant ghrelin.

Now that we better understand the many benefits of a good night’s sleep, make sure to focus on creating a healthy sleep hygiene routine. Some helpful suggestions include avoiding caffeine and alcohol 4 to 6 hours before you go to bed. Going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time. At least one hour before you go to bed, turn off all electronics and practice relaxation techniques such as guided imagery, yoga stretches, meditation, prayer, or deep breathing exercises. Happy Zzz’s.

For more information about sleep difficulties, please call me at 858-243-2684.

How to Identify and Challenge Distorted Thinking

Cognitive therapy helps a person learn how to identify distorted thinking in order to change the way you think and feel. These thoughts are automatic and simply pop into our minds automatically. As a result, people tend to respond automatically to these distorted thoughts without pausing to notice whether or not the thoughts are accurate or realistic. Everyone has a flow of positive, neutral, and negative automatic thoughts throughout the day. Unfortunately, negative automatic thoughts tend to lead to irrational thoughts. From a psychological perspective, irrational thoughts:

• are not based on evidence

• mostly operate on assumptions

• are rooted in beliefs based on past experiences either positive or negative

We all have irrational thoughts. Some people will be able to recognize irrational thoughts. Other people may struggle to let go of the irrational thought and give the thought too much time and attention. Thus, irrational thoughts can cause functional impairment in behavior which can negatively impact day-to-day life.

When irrational thinking becomes a pattern, it creates a cognitive distortion. This is an error in thinking or logic that affects the way your mind processes information. Cognitive distortions refer to your mind making judgments and inferences about a situation that are not based entirely on logic or evidence. This is usually the result of past experiences. Cognitive distortions can shape your beliefs, mood, and how you view yourself, others, and the world in general.

The 10 most common cognitive distortions: (adapted from “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy”)

1. All-or-nothing thinking: You look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories.

2. Overgeneralization: You view a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

3. Mental filter: You dwell on the negatives.

4. Discounting the positives: You insist that your accomplishments or positive qualities don’t count.

5. Jumping to conclusions: a) Mind-reading: You assume that people are reacting negatively to you when there’s no definite evidence; b) Fortune-telling: You arbitrarily predict that things will turn out badly.

6. Magnification or minimization: You blow things way out of proportion or you shrink their importance.

7. Emotional reasoning: You reason from how you feel: “I feel like an idiot, so I really must be one.”

8. “Should statements”: You criticize yourself (or other people) with “shoulds,” “oughts,” “musts” and “have tos.”

9. Labeling: When you label yourself or others. Instead of saying “I made a mistake,” you tell yourself, “I’m a jerk,” or “a fool,” or “a loser.”

10. Personalization and blame: You blame yourself for something you weren’t entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and deny your role in the problem.

How to challenge distorted thoughts:

1. Journal. When you notice a change in mood, journal about what you’re thinking and feeling. Pay particular attention to what you're telling yourself. When you’ve calmed down, review the list of distortions and determine which one fueled your intense emotion. Be curious about what thought triggered you and make note of it. Curiosity will create an opportunity for increasing self-awareness and allow you to grow and learn about what you can do differently next time.

2. Complete a thought record. A thought record is a core tool in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). This is a one-page worksheet that you use in a difficult situation to help you notice your unhelpful ways of thinking and change your perspective to something more realistic. It focuses on the interactions between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and how to focus on factual evidence in order to think more reasonably and rationally.

3. Practice mindfulness which is the ability to focus on the present moment. It’s incredibly helpful to practice diaphragmatic breathing which allows you to focus on each inhalation and exhalation which brings you to the present moment. Practice noticing the thoughts and letting them go. Learn to recognize that you are not your thoughts.

4. Practice self-compassion. Learn how to talk to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend. Practice being kind and patient with yourself. Acknowledge the pain you feel and learn to sit with the emotion and let it go.

5. Consider working with a psychologist who is trained in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). The therapist can provide you resources and support, teach you how to challenge your distorted thoughts, reduce anxiety and depression, and improve your mood.

Distorted thinking negatively impacts how a person, thinks about oneself, others, and the world. Be patient with yourself as you increase your awareness of your unhelpful ways of thinking. Learn to make your mental health a daily priority and learn and practice CBT coping strategies that can help reduce your irrational and distorted thoughts. Consider seeking additional support by working with a therapist who is trained in CBT.

If you’re needing help in dealing with your unhelpful thinking patterns, consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.

The Power of Deep Breathing

According to the Stress in America 2020 survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA), Americans have been profoundly affected by the COVID-19 pandemic, and the multitude of factors Americans have listed in previous years as significant sources of stress remain present and problematic. Given the intensity and duration of these ongoing stressors especially the persistence of this pandemic, APA has issued a warning: We are facing a national mental health crisis that could yield serious health and social consequences for years to come.

Given the endless stressors in our lives especially in the middle of a pandemic, I want to suggest that we make deep breathing a daily practice. Deep breathing also known as diaphragmatic breathing is a practice that enables more air to flow in our body. With practice, deep breathing can help to calm our nerves which helps to reduce anxiety and stress. Most of us take breathing for granted since we typically don’t pay attention to our breathing. Learning to pay attention to how we’re breathing can make a positive impact on our stress levels.

Your autonomic nervous system, which controls involuntary actions like heart rate and digestion, is split into two parts. One part, the sympathetic nervous system (the red zone) controls your fight-or-flight response. The other part, the parasympathetic nervous system (the green zone) controls your rest and digest response. These two parts of your nervous system can’t be turned on at the same time, which means if you work to activate one, the other will be suppressed. As a result, when you pay attention to your breathing you realize that you can control your breathing and with practice, you can activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

Purposeful deep breathing can physically calm your body down. Breathing more deeply also allows for more carbon dioxide to enter your blood, which quiets down parts of the brain, like the amygdala, that handles your anxiety response. Per Dr. Rhoads, more carbon dioxide also helps synchronize your heartbeat and breathing. In addition, deep breathing is one of the best ways to lower stress in the body. When you breathe deeply, it sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax. The brain then sends this message to your body.

When you take a deep breath in, your heart rate quickens slightly. As you exhale, your heart rate slows down. Repeated deep breaths will naturally bring your heart rate more in sync with your breath. This leads your brain to release endorphins, which are chemicals that have a natural calming effect. Furthermore, deep breathing allows more oxygen to the brain which can improve cognitive function like problems solving.

Let’s review a few deep breathing exercises, including belly breathing and 4-4-8 breathing.

Belly Breathing:

Ideally practice this exercise a few times a day like before you get out of bed, during a short break at work or school, and during the evening. The more often you can practice this exercise, the more beneficial it becomes.

1. Sit or lie flat in a comfortable position.

2. Put one hand on your belly just below your ribs and the other hand on your chest.

3. Take a deep breath in through your nose, and let your belly push your hand out. Ideally, your chest should not move.

4. Breathe out through pursed lips as if you were whistling. Feel the hand on your belly go in, and use it to push all the air out.

5. Do this breathing 4 to 8 times and take your time with each breath.

6. Notice how your mind and body feel.

4-4-8 Breathing:

As mentioned above, ideally practice this exercise a few times a day such as before you get out of bed, during a short break at work or school, and during the evening. The more often you can practice this exercise, the more beneficial it becomes.

1. Put one hand on your belly and the other hand on your chest as in the belly breathing exercise.

2. Take a deep, slow breath from your belly, and silently count to 4 as you breathe in.

3. Hold your breath, and silently count from 1 to 4.

4. Breathe out completely as you silently count from 1 to 8. Try to get all the air out of your lungs by the time you count to 8.

5. Repeat 4 to 6 times or until you feel calm.

6. Notice how you feel at the end of the exercise.

Be kind and patient with yourself as you practice deep breathing. Most people tend to breathe from the chest so be patient. Recognize that you might not notice results immediately, and that’s OK. Be sure to give yourself credit for trying, and keep practicing even just for a few minutes at a time. Once you reach a point where you notice it’s helping, keep practicing until you make deep breathing a daily habit. Remember that you have to practice deep breathing on a regular basis in order for it to be helpful.

If you are needing help in making self-care a priority in your day-to-day life, please consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.

Transform Your Anger: Try Attitude Breathing

HeartMath has demonstrated that negative emotions create disordered heart rhythms which then trigger increased levels of emotional distress. In addition, HeartMath has proven that people who learn to generate balanced coherent heart rhythms will experience more balanced emotions. Thus, HeartMath provides you tools to slow down your emotional reactions.

The heart is a primary generator of rhythm in the body. It influences brain processes that control cognitive functions, the nervous system, and emotions. The heart provides an access point from which these system-wide dynamics can be profoundly impacted.

When you shift your heart rhythms into more coherence, you also shift your emotions into more coherence which then brings the autonomic nervous system into balance. By practicing shifting heart rhythms right when you feel anger or frustration, you can harness the physiological power of anger. In other words, you change the information going from the heart to the brain. As a result, you learn to access your higher brain functions and think more coherently.

HeartMath has developed a tool called Attitude Breathing. It is suggested to practice this tool whenever you feel frustrated, angry, or agitated. Attitude Breathing can lessen the intensity of negative thoughts and emotions so they have less power. It requires you to plan ahead by choosing a positive emotion to focus on, like appreciation, love, or compassion. Trying to shift to a positive attitude of appreciation, compassion or love will increase your coherence.

Attitude Breathing

1. To prepare to use this tool, take a moment to build an attitude of appreciation for someone or something in your life. Imagine you are breathing that feeling of appreciation through your heart for 2 or 3 breaths.

2. Focus on your heart and solar plexus (abdominal area) together while you breathe appreciation through that area. Ask yourself, “what would be a better attitude for me to maintain in this situation?” Next, set up an inner attitude like “stay calm,” “breathe,” this too shall pass,” “practice compassion” or whatever attitude you decide is appropriate.

3. Gently and sincerely pretend to breathe the new attitude in through the heart. Breathe it out through the solar plexus and stomach to anchor it in your body. Do this for a couple of minutes until you feel the new attitude has set in.

It is recommended to practice Attitude Breathing when:

1. You wake up in the morning. Negative thoughts and emotions like anger, sadness, or hurt can often creep in as soon as you wake up in the morning. Practice Attitude Breathing for 30 minutes or an hour while you’re getting ready. You can do it while your showering, getting dressed, or commuting to work. Choose attitudes like care or appreciation that would benefit your day.

2. You’re feeling tense. A build-up of tension is an indicator of being out of balance emotionally. Some accumulate tension in the chest area and may experience shortness of breath while others can experience tension as a headache or knot in the shoulders or neck. Use Attitude Breathing to help release tension in your body. While you’re breathing, ask yourself “what would be a more balanced feeling?” Once you feel more emotionally balanced, pretend to breathe the feeling of balance through the area of tension.

3. You want to stop emotional reactivity. During stressful times, remember that many people are experiencing negative emotions such as frustration, uncertainty, anger, or fear. As soon as you notice you are feeling irritated or frustrated, use Attitude Breathing to take the excess negative emotion out of your reaction and to shift into heart rhythm coherence.

Source:  Transforming Anger by Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman.

For more information on HeartMath, please call me at 858-243-2684.

3 Elements of Self-Compassion

Dr. Kristin Neff is one of the world’s leading experts in self-compassion. She describes self-compassion as “treating yourself the way you would want to treat a friend who is having a hard time.” Dr. Neff believes that self-compassion is being patient, kind, and understanding when faced with personal failings instead of “mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings.” As a result of practicing self-compassion, “we become an inner ally instead of an inner enemy.” Dr. Neff’s research on self-compassion involves three core elements: mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity.

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice of being aware of the present moment. It involves being aware of each moment-to-moment experience in a clear and balanced manner. Mindfulness means being open to the present moment's reality. It is allowing all thoughts, sensations, and emotions to enter awareness without avoiding it or resisting it. Mindfulness can help us face the truth of our experience even when it’s uncomfortable and unpleasant rather than avoid painful thoughts and emotions. It allows us to have the presence of mind to respond in a new way.

2. Self - Kindness

Self-kindness is caring toward ourselves as we are towards other people. It is being supportive and encouraging so that we can protect ourselves from harm. Self-kindness is choosing to soothe and comfort ourselves when external life circumstances are challenging and feel too difficult to bear. Instead of berating ourselves for being inadequate, we offer ourselves warmth and unconditional acceptance. Self-kindness is treating ourselves with warmth and patience especially during challenging times.

3. Common Humanity

A sense of interconnectedness is central to self-compassion. It’s recognizing that all humans are flawed works-in-progress, that everyone fails, makes mistakes, and experiences hardship in life. It is learning to accept and forgive ourselves for our flaws since we are not perfect beings. Self-compassion honors the unavoidable fact that life entails suffering for everyone, without exception. Common humanity helps us to remember that pain is part of the shared human experience, however, every moment of suffering can be transformed into a moment of connection with others.

In summary, Dr. Neff believes that another way to describe the three essential elements of self-compassion is loving, (self-kindness), connected (common humanity) presence (mindfulness). “When we are in the mind state of loving, connected presence, our relationship to ourselves, others, and the world is transformed.”

Self-compassion is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and our loved ones. My hope for you is that you choose to practice self-compassion every day. As Steve Maraboli once said, “the most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.”

If you are needing help in making self-care a priority in your day-to-day life, please consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.

How to Create Healthy Boundaries

Creating healthy boundaries is essential in establishing and maintaining a healthy relationship. Boundaries are basic guidelines of how you want to be treated respectfully. Setting boundaries allows you to let another person know what is acceptable and unacceptable. It is important to establish healthy emotional, physical, and psychological boundaries in relationships so we can feel respected and safe.

Why is it important to set healthy boundaries?

1. To set healthy limits in a relationship.

2. To communicate your needs in a relationship.

3. To practice self-care and self-respect.

4. To make time and create a space for positive interactions.

What are some examples of healthy boundaries?

1. Accepting when someone says no.

2. Being aware of your own wants and needs and being able to communicate them.

3. Able to share personal information in an appropriate manner.

4. The ability not to compromise values for another person.

5. You value your own thoughts and opinions.

One way to maintain your healthy boundaries is to identify your limits in a relationship. Recognize acceptable ways of behaving in a relationship. For example, if you tell the other person you are busy and that person continues to call or text you. A person that does not respect no for an answer is violating your boundaries. A second way to maintain healthy boundaries is to be firm about your boundaries and have a plan for what happens if the boundary is violated. Set a reasonable and firm consequence with this person if they have disrespected your boundary.

Some suggestions for setting healthy boundaries:

1. Set a boundary in a clear, firm, calm, and respectful manner. Use as few words as possible. There is no need to justify or apologize for setting the boundary.

2. You are only responsible for expressing your boundary in a respectful manner. Remember you are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to your boundary.

3. Remind yourself that setting boundaries is a form of self-care and it takes determination and practice.

4. Develop a support system of people you trust and who respect your right to set boundaries.

Creating healthy boundaries is empowering. By recognizing the need to set and enforce limits, you maintain self-respect, protect your self-concept, and can enjoy healthy relationships.

If you are needing help in dealing with your relationships, please consider setting up a free phone consultation and we can discuss how therapy can be helpful.